


Ineffably Yours

by Just_the_Messenger



Category: Ancient Egyptian Religion, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Accepting your inner power/strength, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, Alternate Universe - Norse Religion & Lore, Ancient Egyptian Deities, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Crowley and Jenna are madly in love, Depression, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Insecurity, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multiple Universes Colliding, Non-Explicit Sex, OCD, OCD attacks, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Romance, Sequel to "Ineffable", mental health, self-confidence, some slice of life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28723569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_the_Messenger/pseuds/Just_the_Messenger
Summary: Jenna Kingsley's new life in London with Aziraphale and soulmate Crowley is a beautiful dream until Hecate, Lucifer's (yes, THAT Lucifer) executive assistant, warns her and ruler of Purgatory Vega of an impending darkness threatening to infiltrate their dimension.  In response, Vega and Lord Beelzebub return powerful archangels Gabriel, Michael and Sandalphon, as well as demonic lords Hastur and Ligur, to their respective realms, thus suspending their Earthbound punishments indefinitely. This, however, is the least of Jenna's concerns: according to Hecate, expert on everything interdimensional and dangerous, the dark force heading toward God's world is more powerful than Heaven and Hell combined. With the Almighty remaining as silent as ever in the face of universal annihilation, their only hope is uniting not just Heaven and Hell, but other mythological/mystical/magical forces across multiple dimensions to defeat the nefarious black entity planning to devour all they know. Sequel to "Ineffable."
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) & Original Character(s), Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Original Male Character(s), Crowley (Good Omens)/Original Female Character(s)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear readers! I'm back and ready for more ineffable fun with y'all! Please comment and let me know what you think of the plot, premise and prologue (the 3 P's), as well as anything else you want to discuss and critique. Happy New Year!!

“We are all part of the same rainbow. We are all reflections of each other. As unique and diverse as we are in character and skills, the source of all creation is as multidimensional as we are." -Suzy Kassem, _Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem_

“This ‘gargantuan multidimensional clusterfuck.'" -Mark Frost, _Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier_

"Don't be afraid. Just believe." -Mark 5:36

“We are not here to curse the darkness, but to light a candle that can guide us through the darkness to a safe and sure future. For the world is changing. The old era is ending. The old ways will not do." -John F. Kennedy

"Wisdom is the knowledge of good and evil, not the strength to choose between the two." -John Cheever

“What is dark within me, illumine.” — John Milton, _Paradise Lost_

Strictly speaking, I did not create Everything, in the sense that Everything that could ever be, was, is, will be, etc. created was Mine. I created one world, one universe, and that was quite enough. 

I created many things: animals, plants, natural elements, nourishment, ideas, emotions, choices, rules, punishments, judgement, stars, planets, comets, dark matter, black holes and a slowly expanding universe that will one day shrink back to it's original cubic shape and size before vanishing in a mysterious puff of smoke. I also created humans, which in order to survive put everything I created into categories; the infinite number of categories vary, but all boil down to Good and Evil, terms coined by my angels before the Fall. 

Everyone knows about Good, Evil and their eternal battle for conquest over the universe. You also know that they are much more similar than either side would care to admit, hence the human expression that they are "two sides of the same coin." 

But what if they were one side of that coin? What would be on the other side? Something I created? 

Or something much stranger.....


	2. Litha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Jenna attend a Litha (Summer Solstice) celebration at Jasmine Cottage, and Jenna has a very interesting conversation with Adam and the Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: OCD, anxiety, OCD attack of guilt, explicit language

"D'you think she'll like it?" asked Jenna, frowning uncertainly at the potted sunflower in her lap. 

Crowley glanced at her and grinned, then returned his gaze to the road. "For the millionth time, _yes_ ," he replied, chuckling as they sped past Soho pedestrians in his Bentley, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" playing furtively in the background. "Anathema loves flowers, and what better way to honor the summer solstice than by gifting her one from your indoor garden?"

"Ugh, we should have got her the antique sundial," Jenna groaned as though he hadn't spoken, shaking her head despondently. "It was perfect! Old, ancient ruins carved on the sides, big but not so big that it's like, 'What the hell am I gonna do with this stupid thing?'--"

"They already have enough sundials to kill someone," Crowley reassured her, giving her a meaningful look and leaning toward her slightly. "The last thing they needed was one more--"

"They have a lot of flowers too," mumbled Jenna, crossing her arms and pouting. She and Crowley glanced back and forth at each other a few times before grinning and breaking down into giggles simultaneously. "Ugh, I'm sorry I'm being crazy," she chuckled, kissing Crowley's cheek. "You're right, the plant was a good choice. I'll shut up about it now." 

Crowley rolled his eyes and began massaging her neck gently with his left hand. "You're not crazy, love," he corrected her softly, glancing from the road into her blushing face. "You're just anxious. Anything I can do to help?" 

Jenna smiled lovingly at her boyfriend. "Thanks, sweetie. Your massages always help," she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the headrest as Crowley's nimble fingers kneaded her tense shoulders and neck. 

Crowley gazed at her affectionately, savoring the sight of her enjoying his touch. "Well, I did train under Galen in first century BCE, after all--"

"Yes, yes, you've led such a fascinating life," Jenna replied wryly, smirking and crossing her arms and legs. "Learned massage therapy from the first Roman physician to use it, carpentry from Jesus Christ, painting from da Vinci, how to play the friggin' kazoo from--what's his name again?--Kentucky--"

"Alabama Vest," chuckled the demon. "Why do you always think it's "Kentucky" something?"

"Probably cuz they both start with 'K...'"

"Fair." 

Jenna and Crowley smiled at each other very luvey-dovey, kissed chastely then returned to their respective duties, respectively admiring the Tadfield countryside and navigating to Jasmine Cottage without hitting anything alive. After a few moments of blissful silence, Jenna frowned, glanced at Crowley and said, "Did you say Newt and Anathema have enough sundials to, quote, " _kill someone_ ," unquote?"

The demon reflected on her question, then stated confidently. "I did, yes."

"Mmm," Jenna nodded nonchalantly at some cows and sheep grazing in a lush viridian field. "Just making sure." Too preoccupied with the bovine animals to notice, Jenna missed Crowley staring at her in admiration and longing for a solid 15 seconds in response to her statement. She suspected something of that nature had occurred, however, when the Bentley veered so dangerously close to barbed wire on the road's left side that Crowley let out a hiss usually reserved for perfume salesmen in malls and swerved like a drunken man before evening out on the road, clearing his throat and commenting on the weather as though nothing had happened. 

~

"Jenna! Crowley! I'm so glad you both came!" cried Anathema Device-Pulsifer, enveloping the former in a warm hug and flashing the latter a friendly grin. 

"Of course, I was so excited when you invited us to your Lithia celebration!" replied Jenna, smiling warmly at her slightly younger American friend. "I've never participated in one before, I just know the solstices and equinoxes are very special--"

"Oh yes," Anathema nodded vehemently, "very special indeed. This one in particular not only marks the first day of summer and longest day of the year, but a time of vibrancy, spirituality, abundance and of course light. As someone who can actually _use_ that Light energy at will--" she smiled knowingly at Jenna and winked "--I'm sure you understand."

Jenna blushed and laughed nervously. "Well, I wouldn't say 'at will,'" she admitted. "More like, 'under great duress--'"

"Don't listen to her," interjected Crowley, waving aside his girlfriend's modest protestations. "She's bloody spectacular, her powers get stronger every day! You should have seen her last week during training with Vega, almost defeated that tosser demon's Shadow with her Rays--"

"Hey!" interrupted Jenna, clapping her hands once and trying to sound cheerful despite her quickly reddening face and hastening heart beat. "I completely forgot we have something for you, Ana! Here." Jenna shot Crowley a dirty look (he volleyed back a simpering smile), removed the potted sunflower from his hands and handed it to a surprised Anathema more brusquely than originally intended. "We weren't sure what to get you, I hope it's appropriate for a Litha ceremony--"

"It's perfect!" cried the occultist, smelling the large bloom and hugging Jenna again with her right arm. "It's so gorgeous, where did you find one already potted?"

"Crowley grows them," lied Jenna hastily before Crowley could sing her praises again. She grinned smugly at the demon's shocked expression. "Why don't you tell her all about your Mimosa Pudica, honey, while I make the rounds?" 

"Oh, I've heard of those!" said Anathema enthusiastically. "They're the ones that faint, right?" 

"The very ones. Ta-ta!" sang Jenna, waving cheekily at the pair. Crowley smirked and shook his head at Jenna as she greeted the other guests before turning his attention to the young witch and her eager questions about his newly aquired, rather temperamental flora. 

"Hey, it's Jenna!" cried Brian, waving excitedly at the young Celestern. She finished saying hello to Mr. and Mrs. Young and made her way over to the Them encircled around a fire pit, watching the flames dance lazily in the still June air. 

"Hey you lot," Jenna greeted the four thirteen-year-olds, returning each of their eager hugs warmly. "How's it going? Hi Dog!" she added in a higher, quite enthusiastic voice to a small mongrel leaping excitedly at her heels. 

"He's really missed you," smiled Adam, the tallest and fairest of the gang. Jenna bent down to scratch and play with his pet, saying in that quintessential tone in which humans naturally talk to dogs of all shapes and sizes, "Oh, well I missed him too! Yes I did! Yes I did! Who's a good boy? Is it you? Is it you?!" 

Dog licked her nose eagerly in response, eliciting a laugh from his audience. Jenna wiped her face off and sat down in a lawn chair between Pepper and Wensleydale, both of whom had grown quite a bit since she'd last seen them in April. 

"So, how are your summers going?" asked Jenna, crossing her right leg over her left and gazing intently into their faces. 

"Oh, just great!" replied Brian thickly, shoving Anathema's homemade peppermint fudge into his mouth at lightning speed. "Mum's got a new boyfriend that's taken us camping a few times, I even caught a fifty-pound trout!"

"Oh, you did not, you liar!" interrupted Pepper scathingly as Jenna raised her eyebrows in surprise and prepared herself to congratulate Brian on his rather outlandish and possibly fictional accomplishment. "it was a ten pound cod at best, and you know it!" 

"That was weeks ago," Brian waved aside her complaint dismissively, his hand clutching a large and thick slice of succulent chocolate. "I meant our most recent trip to Abbey Hill in Durham--"

"You can't catch trout there!" 

"Well, Scott and his state-of-the-art Polariod beg to differ, Pepper--"

"How is your vacation--oh, I mean holidays--going, Wensleydale?" said Jenna hastily to the bespectacled boy on her right, smiling as Pepper and Brian bickered over fish tales. 

He beamed at her. "Oh, actually, my holidays are going rather well, Miss Kingsley. Thank you for asking. We--my parents and I, that is--are actually planning to go to Scotland in a few weeks and visit Mum's side of the family. Actually, it should be rather fun, since I'll get to see my cousins and their bloodhounds." 

Jenna grinned affectionately at the not-quite-so small but still oh-so-adorable Wensleydale. "That sounds wonderful! And remember, you can just call me Jenna," she added kindly, "although I always appreciate your gallant manners, Sir Wensleydale." The just-knighted young man blushed scarlet but did not look displeased at her compliment. 

"My summer's been right boring," groaned Pepper, who had evidently grown tired of kerfuffling and wanted sympathy. "No trips, no visiting family--just me, my 20th-century mindset parents with their patriarchal and capitalistic ideologies and nothing on TV but stupid Doctor Who reruns."

"Hey, that's not fair!" countered Brian, hoping to redeem himself. "The tenth doctor is pretty good, you said you liked him--"

"Those are never on," replied Pepper dismissively, slouching down in her chair and crossing her arms. Some curly brown hair fell in front of her intelligent face, and she glared at it for a few seconds before blowing it away aggressively. "It's just the really old ones where the doctor's all dark and brooding."

"I'm sorry, Pepper," offered Jenna sympathetically. "Would you like to help me do inventory at Zira's bookshop a few times a week? I probably couldn't convince him to pay you, but it'd be good work experience and it's way more exciting than you'd think!"

Pepper considered her proposal, then shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "I'll think about it," she replied coolly, although her eyes now burned with slight eagerness at the possibility of touching all thos rare editions the angel never lets anyone even look at. "Thanks, Jen. It's nice of you to offer. Are you sure Mr. Fell wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all!" Jenna lied through her teeth, knowing full well how the angel felt about anyone under 20 (or really anyone at all beside her and Crowley) in his bookshop, let alone sorting through his precious collections. "It's a shame he couldn't come tonight, otherwise he'd tell you himself, but he really need some extra hands to sort through--well, you know, centuries of texts."

Pepper nodded. "That makes sense. Why couldn't he come again?"

"He's--well, Crowley bet Zira that he couldn't finish _The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_ in less than 24 hours, so he's hard at work showing the foul fiend what happens when you challenge an angel's literary talents," she chuckled, glancing at Crowley still fielding questions on his greenery from Anathema. Pepper and the boys laughed. 

"Crowley and I can pick you up in the morning and take you back at night," added Jenna, "just ask your mum and let me know what she's comfortable with!"

Pepper smiled rather more wickedly than Jenna expected, hissed something that sounded sinisterly like "Finally!" under her breath and ran to where her mother stood discussing tax forms or other such adulting topics with Anathema's husband, Newt Pulsifer. 

Jenna sighed and wondered why the hell she'd chosen to lie twice in one evening, first to a dear friend and then to an equally dear friend who was also an innocent child. Not just decided, but done so without even thinking much about it! Normally, the guilt of even considering lying to anyone would cannibalize Jenna's inner organs, but this time (and, if she were really being honest with herself, like the last few weeks), something felt different. There was still some guilt (yes, at least there was that) but also something else: like the lies were freeing, an escape, a way out of......something. Frowning slightly, the young Celestern turned her gaze to Adam Young, who sat watching her with an expression of mild curiosity as he petted Dog absent-mindedly in his lap. 

"Are you alright, Jenna?" asked the former Antichrist kindly, his cracking and deepening voice full of concern. 

Jenna shook her head to clear it and grinned maternally at the boys. "Yeah, I'm ok. Sorry, just a lot to think about. Anyway, how's our ring leader been spending his holiday?" she teased Adam. 

Adam narrowed his eyes suspiciously, then brightened his face with his classic half-grin and twinkling blue eyes. "Oh, just this and that," he replied vaguely. "Hanging out in Hogback wood with the gang, teaching Dog new tricks--I did want to ask you something though," he added in a hushed tone, eyes now dead serious. Brian and Wensleydale mirrored his somber visage and stared at her imploringly.

Jenna raised her eyebrows. "Of course, Adam. What's going on?" she frowned, now concerned for his well-being. 

Adam was silent for a moment, then asked, "Have you been feeling weird lately?"

Jenna blinked. "Weird lately?" she repeated, unsure why her heart was now beating faster than a jackrabbit's. "How so?"

"Like, I dunno, like things just don't feel right," explained Adam. "Like, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but every morning! And--and you don't feel like yourself?" he offered, cringing with insecurity. 

"Yeah, or like you're doing things you don't normally do," added Brian, "like saying "Hello there" instead of "Hi," or eating pistachio ice cream instead of a normal flavor--"

"Actually, pistachio is a normal flavor," Wensleydale corrected him not unkindly. "Most people just don't like it. But yes, things like that," he continued to Jenna. "It's like our world is pretty much the same, but actually there are slight differences that make living really uncomfortable."

"That was well said, that," Adam nodded to him, clearly impressed. "Existing is pretty hard now."

"Yeah, it's like, "What am I and what is going on?'" added Brian. 

"Oh, good, you're telling her," said Pepper over Jenna's shoulder. Jenna looked up and was surprised to see Pepper staring sternly at her with a finger raised. "And don't you give us that crap about "hormones" and "growing pains" and things like that, alright?" she warned the young Celestern. "It's not puberty, it's something more! We just know it is! Right, guys?"

Adam, Brian, Wendsleydale and even Dog nodded in agreement. 

Jenna grinned sympathetically at the Them. "I hear you, and I wouldn't dream of minimizing your concerns," she said earnestly, which calmed Pepper down enough to sit back down. "While one could certainly attribute many of the symptoms you describe to puberty, I validate and believe you that you don't think that's what this is." 

She bit her lip, unsure of how much more to share. Upon gazing into their various pairs of guileless eyes, Jenna took a deep breath and continued, "The truth is I've been feeling the same way myself, as have Crowley and Aziraphale, somewhat."

"Does that mean there's something....supernatural going on?" asked Brian nervously. 

Jenna smiled at them reassuringly. "Honestly, it's probably nothing," she began. "I'm not sure what we're all sensing, but I am absolutely sure it is nothing for any of you to worry about. I train weekly with a very high-ranking and knowledgeable Celestern, I'll inform her of all this and get her opinion. Until then," she continued a bit sternly, "your only jobs are to be kids and have fun. Okay? If you feel any anxiety or fear, come talk to me. It's my job to feel anxious and scared, not yours. Alright?"

The teens nodded reluctantly and sat in gloomy silence as the sky grew darker, until Anathema announced it was time for the Rebirth ceremony at precisely 7:04pm, just as the sun began setting over the quiet village. 

"During this ritual," explained Anathema to her intimate audience of adults and young teens, "everyone first writes down that which they want to release from their beings and lives, and then that which they desire and invite into said lives, unto sheets of white paper, then throw both into the fire pits. Thus, both are released or returned to the Universe, either to be created or reborn into something light and loving." She smiled up at Newt Pulsifer, who grinned sheepishly back and added, "Paper and pens are on that table, please take your time and let us know if you have any questions."

"Yes!" hissed Pepper, running over to snatch supplies. "Finally, we get to burn things!"

~

The languid drive home from Jasmine Cottage at 10pm was silent apart from Freddie Mercury serenading Jenna and Crowley softly in the background. 

After ten minutes of mental debate as to how and when to broach the subject, Jenna sighed. "The kids feel it too," she admitted in a low, reluctant voice. 

Crowley frowned and opened his mouth to ask what she meant when she continued, "I told them not to worry, that it's probably nothing and I'd talk to Vega just in case, but--i don't know, I thought if we were the only ones--"

"Ah, you mean the weird feelings," clarified the demon. Jenna nodded. "Just Adam, or the lot?"

"All of them. And Anathema too," she added anxiously, "which only worries me more..."

"It's probably nothing, love," Crowley tried to assure her in his calming baritone, but when Jenna looked into his golden serpentine eyes she saw her own doubt and fear mirrored. "I mean, nothing like the Apocalypse--"

"Our standards are pretty low if anything except "the end of literally everything" can be filed away as 'probably nothing,'" she teased, but Crowley saw the uncertainty and panic in her luminous oceanic orbs as well. "Anyway," Jenna continued, looking ahead again as they entered Soho, "I'll just ask Vega about it all tomorrow, if anyone knows what's going on it's her."

"That sounds good," replied Crowley. "I could come with for extra support, if you'd like," he added hopefully, turning down the street leading to Mayfair.

Jenna scoffed, crossed her arms and smirked at him. "Really?" she said wryly, eyes narrowing. "'Extra support?' Not, "Oh, I'll watch Jenna barely take five hours to make a friggin' Ray large enough to even THINK about approaching that Shadow, let alone--what lie did you tell Ana?--'almost defeat that tosser demon's--"

"Hey!" exclaimed Crowley, chuckling and pointing at her. "You DID almost extinguish it, even Gruun admitted it--"

"Yeah, after you threatened to bust his head open with a crucifix--!"

"Vega, who is scared of neither crucifixes nor me, complimented you first," continued Crowley smugly as though she hadn't spoken. "And, Pot, before you call ME any more black you might want to take a look in the mirror."

Jenna laughed. "And why's that, Kettle?"

Crowley snickered. "What was all that rubbish about me growing the flower?" he teased, eyes glinting mischeviously until they saw hers. Jenna's face went from carefree to distraught in mere seconds as she remembered lying to Anathema as well as Pepper, and even the kids when she said everything was probably fine. The guilt that hadn't arrived immediately following her white lies swelled up in her now and spilled out of her eyes in the form of salty clear water, not holy but still stinging her face. 

"Oh fuck," Crowley muttered, pulling over immediately. He turned off the car and turned his whole torso toward her before pleading, "I am so sorry, love. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, teasing you about--"

"No, no, it's fine, Crow," said Jenna thickly, roughly scrubbing away her tears with her sweater sleeve and smiling weakly at him. "It was funny--"

"No it wasn't," argued Crowley vehemently, shaking his head, luminous yellow eyes pained and regretful. "I should have been more careful, I of all people! I mean, I don't know what it feels like to have OCD and feel that guilty when you even think about lying, but I know that the person I love more than anything does! And for me to just say things like that is--it's abusive." he hissed out the last word and looking down in shame. "I am so sorry, I never intended--"

"Hey," said Jenna firmly, cupping his angular cheeks and pulling his face up to meet hers. "You need to listen to me, alright?" She waited for him to nod, which he did. "You did nothing wrong, Crowley. I did lie--"

"No you didn't," Crowley hissed, tears evacuating his eyes as well. "You just wanted me off your case--I'm a git for making such a big--"

"You are the most wonderful, supportive, kind, patient and compassionate being I have ever encountered," she interrupted, staring intently into his glistening orbs, "especially in regards to my OCD. Hell, you're more sensitive to my triggers than even I am, and that's saying something mister!" In spite of himself Crowley choked out a laugh as she grinned at him. 

"I'm not crying because of what you said," she continued in a voice cracking with emotion as tears flowed freely down her cheeks again. "I'm crying because I don't know why I did it so easily, or why I did the same thing to Pepper and the kids later!"

"Oh sweetheart," Crowley cooed, enveloping her in his warm embrace as she cried into his chest and clung to him tightly. "Shhh, it's alright, this is an OCD attack, not a real thing to feel guilty about, okay?"

Jenna cried pitifully, "That's it though! I didn't even feel guilty till now! What the hell is wrong with me?!"

Caught in the throws of an OCD hurricane, she then succomed to her confessing urges and told Crowley the "terrible falsehoods" she had voiced to the Them earlier. Crowley wanted more than anything to reassure her it was nothing, laughably so if not for the extreme pain she was in, but Jenna had asked him not to provide reassurance during these attacks as it feeds the OCD cycle. He did, however, make soothing noises, rub her upper back slowly and kiss her head until her sobs abated.. Exhausted and frustrated, she sat up and, upon seeing Crowley's tear and snot-drenched dress-shirt, groaned at herself at snapped it clean. After doing the same to her face, Jenna hugged him again. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I don't know why I'm so emotional about this--"

"Cuz it's the root of your OCD, love!" Crowley cried, peering into her face with concern. "I think it's amazing that you didn't feel guilty, not after insignificant like that! Maybe it means your OCD is lessening, like Vega said it might?"

Jenna sighed, leaned against his chest and closed her eyes so the only thing she could hear was his strong, steady heartbeat. "Maybe," she reluctantly admitted. "It was easier when I just didn't feel the need to lie, even about tiny stuff that doesn't matter. Just these last few weeks--"

"Yeah, they've been weird," agreed Crowley. "But Vega will know what's up, love. Don't worry, everything is okay," he murmured, brushing some stray hairs out of her face. 

Jenna kissed him, then leaned back so he could take them home. _I know logically he's right_ , she thought as they drove a few minutes more, parked and walked up to their flat, _but something still feels very, very wrong..._


	3. Hecate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While training with Vega, High Priestess Hecate (Satan's XO and the protagonist of "What Fresh Hell is This," one of my other ao3 WIP fics) stops by Purgatory to deliver shocking news

Jenna groaned dramatically, rolled her eyes and wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of her partially gloves hand. "What am I doing wrong, Vega? Why aren't they just--disappearing?" She gestured hopelessly at the Light Rays eminating from the hands of a tiny herald angel, which Jenna's Shadows (now slinking back into her hands sheepishly) had been unable to overcome for the last 30 minutes.

"Let's stop for today, Jenna," replied the gorgeous ruler of Purgatory, her doe-like brown eyes filled with concern for the young Celestern. "You're doing nothing wrong, just pushing yourself much too hard, dear. Let's sit over here and cool off, alright?"

Jenna nodded glumly and followed the green-skinned, red-haired queen over to a small round table supporting a pitcher filled with clear, icy water and two glass goblets. Vega snapped her fingers, and the pitcher elegantly poured the cold liquid into the gancy glasses. 

"Thank you so much for helping us today, Adriel," Vega smiled kindly at the golden-haired angel as their Rays slowly dissipated into glittery dust before vanishing. "I think we're done for today, but please feel free to hang around the Grotto for as long as you wish before returning to work. We added a nail salon that the Celestials seem especially to enjoy." 

Adriel bowed respectfully to the queen. "Thank you, Your Majesty, but I shall return to Heaven now. Will you need my services next week, as well?"

"Yes, I'll confirm days and times with you later," replied Vega, winking at Jenna encouragingly. "Have a good day, dear. Thanks again."

"Yeah, thanks a lot!" called Jenna hastily after the angel, cheeks burning with shame at not thanking them sooner. "I really appreciate you coming down here and helping me, you know, train--I can't imagine how busy you are Upstairs, but--well, thanks," she finished lamely, wishing she had the Demonic power to sink into the ground. 

Adriel's impassive face broke into a bright smile. "Of course, Miss Kingsley," they replied, bowing low to the now-quite-embarrassed young Celestern as well. "It is my pleasure to assist you on your journey to full Attunement. Good day," they added to both female-presenting beings, before walking out the large oak doors and leaving them alone in the huge, pristine gymnasium. 

"Drink some water, dear," implored Vega gently, her attractive features arranged in worry. "You look exhausted, have you been sleeping enough?"

Jenna took a sip of the cool, refreshing liquid, closed her eyes and savored the feel of it sliding down her warm throat and into her stomach. "Honestly, I think I'm sleeping too _much_ ," she replied, setting down her goblet and crossing her legs. "I'm out from about 11pm to 8am nightly because I'm genuinely tired! Shouldn't the need to sleep have _gone away_ by now, like the need to eat?"

Vega smiled maternally. "Every Celesternal Attunement, or life, is different," she answered sagely. "Some exist quite comfortably without consuming food, hydrating, sleeping or many of the other things humans must do to survive, like their parents. More often than not, though, Celesterns, particularly those raised by humans on Earth, must continue at least _some_ "corporation-maintenance rituals," as I call them, in order to thrive. It sounds like your Celesternal and Earthly body just still needs to catch some Z's right now," she finished, shrugging and sipping her water.

"Oh," said Jenna softly, frowning. "Is it a sign of--I don't know, something being _wrong_ , or--"

"Not in the slightest," Vega replied firmly but with a kind grin. "Only about 5% of known Celesterns can comfortably exist without eating, drinking or sleeping. The majority of us find that, although we are indeed more potentially powerful and dangerous than angels or demons, we are still more human than them."

"Like how I still need to breathe?" 

"Exactly!" Vega reached out her hand, which Jenna took appreciatively. "Don't worry dear, you're doing so well, progressing so much with your powers...everything's happening like clockwork. No problems whatsoever."

Jenna's stomach clenched uncomfortably. Whether it was because Vega's words were untrue or because they reminded her of why she suspected they might be, Jenna couldn't tell, but it didn't matter. She took a deep breath, and was just about to tell the queen about her and her friends' collective unease when there were three sharp knocks on the wooden door. 

"Come in," called Vega. "Sorry about this, Jenna, probably work stuff," she added under her breath to her mentee, who shook her head and whispered, "No, it's fine! Please take your time!"

Vega smiled, then turned toward the doors, gasped and shrieked, "Hecate!! Why didn't you tell me you were stopping by?" before jumping up and rushing to the door. 

Jenna gulped and stared at the tall, dark haired visitor her mentor was now embracing. She had heard quite a bit about High Priestess (technically _Princess_ , though Crowley said she hated that title in particular) Hecate: Celestern, Heavenly Liason as well as Second-in-Command and Executive Officer to the Devil himself, hence Jenna's terror and mortification at randomly meeting the imposing figure in her violet "Dunder Mifflin" T-shirt, old black leggings and threadbare tennis shoes with large holes over the big toes. 

"Sorry to just drop in," replied Hecate in a low, clear and alluring British accent, "but I need to talk to you urgently. Do you have time to--" Her sharp, mesmerizing emerald eyes searched the room and widened slightly upon finding Jenna, who froze and lowered her gaze in deferrence and fear. 

"Oh, perfect!" cried Vega, clapping her hands together and grinning broadly. "I've been wanting to introduce you two--Jenna, don't be shy! Come on over!" She beckoned to her apprehensive student, who straightened her shirt and tried to walk over quickly without looking like an idiot. 

"Jenna--Jenna Kingsley?" asked Hecate, manicured black eyebrows raised and beautiful eyes glancing between her companions. "I didn't know--are you training her?" She pointed a long, sharp painted nail at Vega. 

"Just offering some friendly advice," shrugged Vega modestly, winking at Jenna. "And believe you me, she hardly needs even that--"

"That's certainly what I've heard!" agreed Hecate, grinning appreciatively at Jenna with full crimson lips and ramrod straight white teeth. "It's wonderful to finally meet you, Miss Kingsley. Your reputation as a mighty and precocious Celestern proceeds you," she continued kindly, extending an elegant pale hand toward the starstruck Celestern. 

"Oh! T-thank you," stuttered Jenna, shaking Hecate's surprisingly warm hand without looking away from her gorgeous green eyes. "But I'm certainly not--well, the pleasure is _definitely_ all mine, Your, ugh--" Jenna stopped herself, struggling to remember what Crowley said about Hecate's informal designation. _Is it Your Lowness?_ she thought frantically, _or Your Disgrace?_ _Maybe...My Awful Lady? Goddamn it, why the fuck are titles so complicated in Hell?!_

When Jenna didn't finish her sentence, Hecate just chuckled and waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, just call me Hecate, please," she assured her. "I hate those useless monikers, took me 1,700 years to finally get everyone to call me Sir."

"And that was only after you threatened to--what was it again darling?" Vega teased, smirking up at her statuesque colleague. "'Rip out their kidneys and feed them to the Hellhounds?'"

Hecate glared at Vega. "First of all, it was livers," she hissed over the queen's snickers. "Second of all, I'd rather our guest not get the wrong impression about me from my hyperbolic verbage--" To Jenna's shock, Hecate glanced nervously at her. 

Vega snorted. "Oh, sure, 'hyperbolic verbage.' Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling," she purred. Hecate rolled her eyes and crossed her long arms over her curvy chest. "Oh come on, Tee! It's nothing Jenna hasn't heard from Crowley already, most likely--"

"Crowley?" repeated Hecate incredulously, enunciating each syllable slowly as if the very idea of the word was incomprehensible to her. She looked at Jenna, shock evident in her attractive features. "Why in Hell--"

"You remember, Tee," prompted Vega. "She and Crowley are dating! Going on, what is it, seven months now, dear?" she asked Jenna, who blushed a brilliant scarlet to rival Hecate's lipstick and squeaked, "Um, eight, actually--"

"Oh!" exclaimed Hecate, gazing wide-eyed at the young embarrassed Celestern. "Well, that's--um, that's just--wonderful!" she continued in probably as cheery a voice as she could muster. 

Jenna smiled weakly. "Thanks," she replied shakily, trying to figure out how to politely change the topic. "Um--"

She stopped when the high priestess opened her mouth, and continued to watch her expectantly as she closed it and bit her lower lip in hesitation. After what seemed like an intense internal battle, Hecate sighed sharply, cringed apologetically and added in a low, gentle tone to Jenna, "I'm sorry dear, but I worked with Crowley for centuries and really can't let this go. There's no kind way to put this, so I'm just gonna say it." Hecate took a deep breath. "No offense meant to either of you, of course, but it's clear to me that you're a brilliant, sophisticated and cultured young woman, whereas Mr. Crowley is--well, for lack of a better term--"

"An imbecile," Vega offered bluntly, nodding sympathetically at her friend. "I don't get it either, but you two kids seem to make it work," she added to Jenna, smiling encouragingly. 

"I so hope we haven't offended you in any way," added Hecate nervously, holding out her hands in a placating manner, widened eyes watching the young Celestern carefully.

As anxious, mortified and insecure as Jenna was at this moment, she couldn't help but smile and laugh at the ludicrousy of both their conversational topic and her companions' somber, delicate behavior, as if tiptoeing around the fact that Jenna had pledged her heart to a moldy lump of bread. "Oh, not at all, Your Dis--well, Vega and H-Hecate," she chuckled and stammered. The high priestess' unique name was enjoyable to say but felt weird and way too informal coming out of her mouth. "Believe me, I am well aware of his--well, his occasional mental shortcircuiting," she assured them, choosing her words carefully as she pictured Crowley's face upon hearing she'd discussed his competency (or rather lack thereof) with Vega and one of his former superiors. 

"Yes, 'mental shortcircuiting.' _Exactly_ the phrase I was going for, had Wordsworth not interrupted," agreed Vega, jerking a thumb at Vega, who rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

Jenna laughed again. "Well, either way, I can't help but love all of him equally, just the way he is," she explained honestly, blushing and inwardly berating herself at how sappy she sounded. "I wouldn't want him to change a thing about his personality, although I can certainly imagine how difficult it must have been to work with him," she added seriously. 

Now it was Hecate and Vega's turn to laugh warmly at their young guest's tact and eloquence. "Only in the sense that he was a bloody distraction, always pranking and trying to one-up Hastur and the others," Hecate admitted fairly. "I'll admit He's really quite clever--when he remembers where Notre Dame is located," she added mischievously to Vega, who cackled with mirth. Jenna had no idea to what Hecate was referring, but planned to grill Crowley on it mercilessly when she returned home. 

"Anyway, enough about that," chuckled Vega, wiping tears from her large mahogany eyes. "What did you want to discuss, Hecate? Jenna and I were finished here, is it something private, or--?" She glanced furtively at the youngest Celestern in the room. 

Hecate hesitated and considered Jenna thoughtfully for a few moments before replying tentatively, "No, no, she should know as well. Yes, do you mind remaining a bit longer, dear?" she added to Jenna apprehensively. "There's some--well, it's hard to explain--"

"Of course," replied Jenna immediately, her heart beating frantically in her chest as she wondered what Hecate's news was. "I can stay as long as you like, Your--Hecate. Would you like to sit down?" She offered the high priestess her seat. 

"Oh thank you dear, but I'm fine," she smiled, snapping her fingers so that a third wooden chair joined Jenna and Vega's at the small round table. They all sat down. 

"Can I offer you a beverage, Tee?" tempted Vega. Hecate shook her head. "No, thank you Vega. I need a clear head for this. Lucifer's executive officer took a deep breath, looked at both female supernatural beings quite soberly and said darkly to Vega, "It's coming."

Vega's brow furrowed for a moment, then her brown eyes flew open in horror. "No," she gasped, shaking her head quickly by tiny degrees. 

Hecate nodded grimly, then turned to Jenna. "Miss Kingsley, I don't know if you've felt anything--out of the ordinary in the energetic realm lately--not sure how much you've discussed that with Vega, just wondering if you've felt--well, I suppose you could say _off_ or _weird_ lately."

Jenna bit her lip. "Well, to be honest, very much," she admitted nervously, glancing at Vega apologetically. "As have Crowley and Zira--Aziraphale, the angel," she added to Hecate, who chuckled. "I am well aquainted with the Principality Aziraphale," she assured her with a fond smile; Jenna noted with surprise that she did not refer to her friend as a _former_ principality. 

"Oh, good," she replied awkwardly, then said urgently to Vega, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I was just going to today when--well--" She tried not to look at Hecate, but Vega did and nodded knowingly. 

"It's fine, my dear. Please continue," said the queen with a strained smile, still looking quite shell-shocked at Hecate's opening statement. 

Jenna nodded, cleared her throat then turned back to Hecate. "Some of our friends--including a practicing witch and Adam Young, the former Antichrist--feel strange as well, as though--I believe they said it's as though existing is almost impossible," she relayed. "Not in terms of suicidal ideation, but--well, I guess I feel the same but can't phrase it any better than that--"

"Hmm," intoned Hecate curtly, nervously considering the young Celestern's words. "I see. Anything else, Miss Kingsley?"

Jenna bit her lip. "Well, it's very hard to explain," she hesitated. Was this some sort of surreal nightmare, explaining her stupid OCD to one of the most formidable Celesterns ever to exist? "You see, I have this thing called--"

"She has Scrupulosity," said Vega bluntly to Hecate. Jenna cringed visibly at the word but was secretly grateful she didn't have to say it. "Has it been worsening, dear?" Vega asked her, maternal worry evident on her beautiful face. 

"Um, well, not exactly," replied Jenna tentatively, finding it easier to address her mentor than the sweet but still extremely intimidating high priestess. "It's actually much easier for me to lie, and I'm doing it more often--I don't know if it's more than average, but certainly a lot for someone who obsesses over honesty--and I don't feel guilty until later," she admitted with a great deal of shame, "if at all." 

Vega nodded thoughtfully, as did Hecate. "I see this is causing you a great deal of distress," observed the former gently, as Jenna blinked back tears and wiped her eyes furiously. 

"It's--oh God I'm sorry," she groaned, trying to pull herself together. "Oh, oh no! I shouldn't have used that name!" she hissed to herself. 

Hecate smiled sympathetically and offered a warm hand again, which Jenna accepted with great shock. "It's fine Miss Kingsley, I'm well aware of the Almighty and feel no offense at hearing Her mentioned," she assured her kindly. "I also know a bit about OCD and Scrupulosity, though not nearly as much as yourself, and much more about Celesternal Attunement, though again, virtually nothing compared to my colleague--" Hecate gestured at Vega "--and can say with great confidence, as can Vega I'm sure, that your situation has little, if most likely nothing, to do with the--phenomenon to which I am referring." 

Vega nodded emphatically. "Yes, Jenna. This is just your Celesternal nature balancing out your neurobiology, or in effect removing your OCD tendencies. That always occurs if, before Evolving, the Celesternal being in question has mental health challenges such as anxiety, PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD, etc. As I've said, your Angelic and Demonic natures Heal your holistic self (mind, heart, body and spirit) of all trauma and maladaptive urges about six to twelve months after your Evolution occurs, thus making it easier for you to master your powers. This Healing process shouldn't last more than a few months, though I want to validate how confusing and awful this must feel, on top of everything else," she added darkly under her breath. 

Jenna exhaled and relaxed multiple tense muscles in her body when her telltale stomach responded to the leaders' statements by doing nothing, just sitting there cool as a cucumber. She sighed, "Oh, that's a relief. Thank you both so much! I mean, Crowley's been trying to tell me the same thing for weeks, but it's nice to hear from those who actually know what they're talking about."

Vega and Hecate laughed, low and warm, like a rippling fire. "I _knew_ I'd like you!" chuckled Hecate, smiling freely at the young Celestern, who blushed at the statement. "Yes, like Vega said, that's nothing to worry about. However," the dark-haired beauty continued, smile and joy vanishing, "the other things you mentioned--pervasive feelings of unease, an indescribably but palpable challenge to remain existing--these concern me very much."

Vega nodded grimly. Jenna felt the familiar rush of icy anxiety shoot through her veins like a drug, causing her heart to race and breath to lessen in duration, depth and frequency. 

"Jenna, I don't know if you and Vega have discussed this, but there are an infinite number of dimensions, or alternate universes/realities," began Hecate seriously. 

Jenna nodded. "Yes, we've talked about it a lot. I've always wondered if that were true, and the concept is fascinating to me."

Hecate grinned broadly. "Indeed, it is fascinating. While we busy ourselves with this Earth, this universe created by the Almighty over six millennia ago, there are countless others forged by omnipotent beings as mysterious, confounding and--for lack of a better term--ineffable as Her. Believe me, I could spend centuries discussing the complexities of unending dimensions." 

She paused, her smile slowly fading. "Unfortunately, there are also great dangers in these other worlds, more powerful and destructive than the combined forces of Heaven and Hell, perhaps even more than the Almighty Herself."

Jenna stared at Hecate blankly as her words slowly sank their fangs into her conscious mind. 

"I notice you didn't include your fearless leader among those comparisons," remarked Vega with a wry smirk that didn't reach her hollow eyes. 

Hecate scoffed dismissively. "Yeah, cuz I'm not an idiot. And all evidence to the contrary, neither is he," she added in a slightly gentler tone, looking down morosely. "He knows there's nothing he could do to stop it..."

While her brain enthusiastically denied the horrendous information it was supposed to be processing, Jenna found herself distracted by their conversation. _Am I officially crazy,_ she thought, frowning slightly, _or are they referring to--_

"Anyway, point is," continued Hecate in a business-like manner to Jenna, who tried to refocuse her attention on the cataclysmic news at hand, "sometimes--quite rarely, but sometimes nonetheless--entities from one world can escape and wreak havok in another, which is the unfortunate situation we are in now. Currently, a dark entity from world AB78% is rapidly and directly heading toward our world, 12nNM* (or Earth, as it's more commonly known)."

Jenna gulped and wished her stomach would clench so painfully she wouldn't even remember what Hecate was revealing. 

"I know it's a lot, Jenna," said Vega softly, offering her hand, which Jenna accepted. 

"Yes, I apologize, Miss Kinglsey," said Hecate sincerely. "I didn't intent to--well, I'm sorry for burdening you with this, but rest-assured--" she fixed her with a meaningful look "--we have a plan to guard against this force, which I'll explain in a moment."

Jenna nodded, trying to take deep breaths. "What is it?" she asked, choking out the words through a swollen throat. 

"It is a Devouring force known by various names throughout the AU (alternate universes), in ours as "The Empty One." In Hell we usually call it TEO (tay-o) for short--"

"Same in Purgatory," contributed Vega, "but in Heaven it's some bullshit like 'That Which We Shall Not Discuss," proceeded by a long and frightfully dull discussion of said 'That.'"

Vega sighed in exasperation and nodded. "Yes, and I'm sure you can BOTH guess who's responsible for that," she said in a low voice, rolling her eyes. 

To her profound surprise and secret relief, Jenna found herself snickering with Vega, which released some tension and anxiety from her quickly exhausting body. "Oh yes, Jenna has been a proud member of the "We Hate Archangel Gabriel" club for quite a bit now," chuckled Vega, winking at the youngest Celestern. 

"Yes, I rather figured you would be after his atrocious behavior," said Hecate angrily. "I would have destroyed the bloody bastard, but I admire your self-control in merely trapping him in that clever Shadow envelope, Miss Kingsley. Excellent work." Jenna blushed magenta and looked down modestly. 

"Unfortunately, this brings me to my next point," sighed Hecate, sadness and reluctance decorating her gorgeous face. "Our only hope of defeating TEO, which will destroy everything in its path once it reaches Earth, is to utilize every ounce of celestial and infernal power at our disposal. 

One would _think_ ," she continued in a tone bristling with annoyance, "that it _certainly_ wouldn't _matter_ if three renegade archangels and two dimwitted demons continued their very just and, quite frankly _genius_ , punishment as 'humans' on Earth since there's twenty _fucking_ thousand competent angels and demons--or that one of us could just absorb and utilize their powers effectively--but apparently," Hecate sighed, looking upward with a strange mixture of respect and aggravation, "God has once again chosen to display Her sense of humor in the most infuriating way possible." 

Vega groaned. "Bloody fantastic," she grumbled, covering her face with her hand. 

Jenna blinked. "Wait," she started, holding up her hands and looking down, "so you're saying--"

"Very unfortunately, yes," replied Hecate, grimacing. "We will have to suspend their sentences until after this tragedy passes, meaning the archangels will return to Heaven, the dukes to Hell, and will have their supernatural powers returned to them temporarily, since apparently only the powers' original owners can use them correctly." She hissed the last clause with great irritation, then sighed and turned to Vega. "Bee's already agreed, I just need you to--"

"Yes, fine, whatever," sighed the queen, hand still over her closed eyes. "God, I was looking forward to watching that bastard lose his job on Friday." Vega looked up at Hecate hopefully. "Is there any chance it could wait till--"

Hecate shook her head. "I've already postponed it longer than I should have." Vega groaned again but nodded. "We'll all have to be happy with continuing to exist rather than watching the being we despise most feel the humiliation he's inflicted upon others since the dawn of time."

"Six of one..." muttered Vega. Hecate chuckled, then faced Jenna with a very concerned, serious expression.

"Miss Kingsley, last night I placed the most powerful charms known to Earthbound witch covens on Gabriel, Michael, Sandalphon, Hastur and Ligur to ensure your, as well as Mr. Crowley and Aziraphale's, utmost safety," she assured the youngest Celestern. "Not only will none of the bastards have any physical or supernatural capability to plot against, harm or visit any of you during their temporary suspension, if any of them even _consider_ doing anything nefarious to you and/or your friends, the prisoners will find themselves ensconsced in horrendous, torturous and seemingly endless nightmares personalized to fit their own deepest fears, secrets and shame."

"Oh," said Jenna, raising her eyebrows and blinking. "That's--wow, that's amazing!"

Hecate smiled. "I know it sounds impossible and far-fetched, but I assure you that I have used the strongest and most complex spells to ensure your safety and hopefully peace of mind. You shouldn't have to worry or suffer just because Heaven and Hell can't get buy without a couple of dunces for more than six months." 

Vega nodded emphatically. "Tee's too modest to say so, but as the High Priestess of Hell, she's LITERALLY the most powerful, imdominable and knowledgeable witch/warlock in our world," she added, "meaning those charms are unbreakable, loophole-free and will only increase in intensity over time. You could not be in better hands than these gorgeous things." She held up Hecate's long, elegant and snow-white hands, which made the Satanic professional blush slightly and smile before using them to swat at the snickering queen. 

"Oh, I totally trust you," Jenna assured Hecate eagerly. "And I am so incredibly appreciative for the protective spells and everything--I had no idea you even knew who I was, let alone would be so ki--oh," she stopped herself, frowning. "I, um, was going to say 'kind,' but I assume you have the same negative connotations with that and other positive four-letter adjectives as Crowley, given that you're both associated with Hell--"

Hecate chuckled good-naturedly. "Not nearly as much as the demons," she assured her, pushing out her chair and standing up, "especially when receiving such compliments from a _truly_ kind, good, nice and fair person." She looked into Jenna's oceanic eyes meaningfully and smiled knowingly at her as she and Vega stood up as well. "I appreciate your profound kindness, patience and grace in allowing me to dump all of this traumatic information on you unexpectedly, especially considering you have enough problems to deal with."

Jenna shook her head and smiled. "Not at all, Y--Hecate. It was an absolute honor to meet you and be trusted to receive such--such, um, news," she finished lamely, as her brain struggled to describe the news it was still so adamantly denying and avoiding. Her smile had slid off her face and she suddenly felt exhausted yet anxious, as if she'd run ten miles and then remembered she had a midterm tomorrow. 

Hecate and Vega nodded darkly. "Such news indeed," agreed the former. "Please discuss this freely with Crowley and Aziraphale, I just sent them each a letter discussing our predicament so they should be appraised and appropriately sympathetic to your plight at having to hear it all firsthand from two crazy old bats." She tried to grin, but it looked more like a pained grimace. 

"Speak for yourself," muttered Vega, adjusting her dress. "I am neither crazy nor old."

"You were born in 4000 B.C.E. and left Sam in charge of Legal for two days last week," replied Hecate wryly. "Old and crazy." 

Vega scoffed, then smiled and hugged her friend. "We'll talk later, yeah?"

"I'll call you," Hecate assured her, then shook Jenna's hand and strutted out of the room on tall, pointed black heels. 

"Well, that was a thing," sighed Vega, smiling apologetically at Jenna. "How are you, my dear?"

Jenna stared blankly at the door Hecate exited, and it took her a second to register the queen's question. She blinked and shook her head to clear it before replying, "Sorry! Um, just, it's a lot. Really tired." Always best to be honest with Vega, and vice versa. Saved them both the heartache (or rather, stomach-and-headache).

The ruler of Purgatory nodded sympathetically. "Of course, darling. This was an enormous quantity of striking information, I'll just let you process. Just call me if or when you want to discuss it, but for now just rest and try to get some sleep, okay?"

Jenna nodded gratefully. "I will, thanks a lot Vega." 

"Of course dear. I could Transport you, if you like," she offered. "Not that you couldn't do it beautifully, but it's rather annoying when you're exhausted--"

"Oh, thank you so much," replied the young Celestern sincerely, "but Crowley's just waiting for me in the lobby, so I'll make him teleport us back home."

"Knowing your relationship, you'll most likely have to make him STOP teleporting you places and waiting on you hand and foot once he sees how tired you look," she chuckled. 

Jenna rolled her eyes and muttered, "Ain't it the truth, though..."

The two Celesterns hugged goodbye, then exited through opposite doors, leaving the room white, pristine and silent as a grave. 


	4. At least we're together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna and Crowley process the news by comforting, teasing and loving each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some explicit language, lots of fluff, goes in the direction of smut at the end but stops short of describing sexual anatomy or the sexual act itself (although the act is strongly referenced and does occur). Not sure if I should just put "smut" and leave it at that...please share opinions, I'm new to writing erotic/smut as you *may have* noticed

Gentle rain pitter-pattered against the expansive window, unobscured by blackout curtains and open enough to let some crisp, refreshing air in. Jenna thought the sound and cool air would help her fall asleep, but she was wrong. It was 3:46am, and the young Celestern was still too anxious and restless to settle her mind enough to rest. All she could do was lay on her left side under silk black sheets and stare blankly at the slick Mayfair streets below as her mind perseverated on ominous devouring entities, eternal nothingness and her infinitesimal place among countless universes.

The rain abated for a moment, and dark clouds parted enough for a vibrant half-moon to shine directly into what used to be Crowley's but what was now her and the demon's shared bedroom, bathing the dark interior with silvery light. Jenna turned around gingerly to see if Crowley was asleep, and found he wasn't even in bed. How did she not hear or feel him leave? 

After a moment of frustration, the sleep-deprived Celestern admitted that between thoughts of impending doom and the return of five dangerous supernatural beings, not to mention her own tendency to block out external stimuli when severely stressed, Crowley could have easily left the room without Jenna noticing despite her advanced Celesternal abilities to sense the presence of those around her. 

Sighing, she pulled the thin covers off her long legs, which looked eerily pale in the moonlight, and sat up. Jenna shivered involuntarily when her bare feet touched the freezing hardwood floor (it hadn't felt this cold since February, hence her shorts and T-shirt nightwear and the thin sheets), walked over to the armchair in the corner and put on the plush cobalt robe Crowley got her for Christmas. After slipping on thick homemade mohair socks from her aunt, Jenna exited the ponderous quarters and followed a dim light toward the living room, where Crowley sat in long, thin black cotton pajamas on the edge of the couch, sharp elbows on knees and staring pensively into the illuminated fireplace. 

"Hey," she said softly, standing off to the side tentatively. The demon jerked slightly and whipped his head around quickly, but his agitated expression softened when he saw who it was.

"Sorry for bothering you," added Jenna, frowning and analyzing his face with her oceanic eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright." 

Crowley shook his head and smiled warmly. "You could never bother me," he said in a low, husky voice, extending a long arm and strong hand toward her. Returning his grin, Jenna relaxed and joined him on the dark blue sofa, kissing his blazing hot cheek and hugging him tightly. 

"Did I wake you when I got up?" Crowley asked anxiously, rubbing her upper back. Jenna shook her head, then gently guided him sideways so that they could spoon facing the fire. "No, I didn't even notice till now--my crazy head's too occupied with...well, everything."

"You mean you haven't fallen asleep yet?" the demon said after a beat, frowning down at the beautiful female being he was holding securely to his chest. She shook her head, rustling long brown locks illuminated bronze gold by the roaring fire. "No," Jenna repeated nonchalantly, blinking tiredly at the fire and snuggling into his loving embrace. "Just too much to think about--lot going on..."

"Yeah," he exhaled, lowering his head onto a miracled pillow so that he could rest his neck and still stare at the dancing flames with wide, anxious eyes. Jenna nuzzled his hands with her adorable, cold nose and kissed them lightly a few times; in response, the demon relaxed, smiled lovingly down at her and gently moved her long hair aside so he could massage the right side of her head, neck and shoulders with his left hand. 

"Oh that feels so good," sighed Jenna sleepily, closing her eyes and capturing Crowley's right hand with her soft cheek against the couch. "Thank you honey..."

Crowley didn't respond, just continued tenderly massaging his beloved in the way he knew she liked until she opened her eyes, bit her lip and asked very nervously, " _Are_ you okay, though? You _never_ use the fireplace....."

Crowley's smile slid off his face like oil on a frying pan. His hand stilled, and he gently rested it on her shoulder before replying, "It's a good distraction," quietly and with what seemed to be great shame. Jenna rolled over and burrowed into Crowley's chest. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I shouldn't have asked," she apologized, looking up at him with bright eyes. "I know you don't like to talk about it--"

"Shhhh," he whispered, placing a hand behind her head, holding her tightly and shaking his head. "It's all fine, love. For me, it's--it's kind of like watching a horror movie, a really twisted one---or blasting a screamo song in the car---you aren't enjoying it the way you would, say, Shakespeare or Mozart, but it's so--jarring and terrifying--yet in a controlled way--that you feel safe, but still too overstimulated to remember what was bothering you in the first place."

"Oh, Crowley," she sighed, reaching up with a gentle hand and running her fingers through his now quite short but still gorgeous and chic red hair. "You should have woken me up, I would have lit it, or sat with you, or something--"

"'s no big deal," he exhaled, closing his eyes and savoring the glorious sensation of delicate fingers massaging his scalp. "Just used my own personal stock--wanted you to sleep anyway--"

"Well, aren't we both just super aware of our surroundings tonight?" teased Jenna, eliciting a chuckle from her boyfriend. "Both of us wide awake and thinking the other is sleeping soundly, our senses have never been sharper..." She let her hand fall and breathed in his petrichor, bonfire and sweet apple musk deeply. Crowley did the same by burying his face in her sweet lavendar-scented hair and allowing her supernatural aura, a unique combination of sensuous desire and pure innocence, to waft over him in pleasurable waves. 

"I wish I could just keep you here like this, with me, forever," confessed Crowley quietly, serpentine eyes leaking a few treacherous tears. "My life is finally complete and truly worthwhile with you. I have never felt so happy, accepted, safe, comfortable, loved, powerful--as I do with you--" he let out a low sob that tore at Jenna's heart, then took a deep breath and continued with a mirthless chuckle"--and--and isn't it just my luck that the moment you inexplicably allow me to be with you--"

"--an otherwordly force comes to destroy everything," Jenna finished softly. "I know my beautiful angel, I feel the same way." She looked up at Crowley, who hid his eyes while his body shook with sobs. "And not only is it quite explicable that I love you," she continued, gently stroking his hair while he cried very quietly, "I still can't believe I get to see your breathtaking face everyday, or lay beside you at night--even just talk like this, without anything between us but our undying love and devotion for each other." 

"Oh God, Jenna!" choked out the demon, pressing her head against his chest tightly, desperately. "I-I don't know what to do! I don't know h-how to keep you safe, o-or fix things--if fucking _Hecate's_ scared enough to bring those bastards back, I just--I d-don't know w-what t-to--to--"

"Shhhhshhhshhshhshhshhhhhhh," Jenna soothed the now hyperventilenting demon, stroking his hair lightly as she sat up, scooted back and placed Crowley's head tenderly on a blanket spread over her legs. His powerful, lean body curled into a shaking fetal position as he sobbed (in his mind) pathetically and hysterically into the soft fabric on her lap. Jenna sang softly to him in her angelically perfect voice as she rubbed his temples in a way that she knew brough him quick relief. 

After a few minutes of crying, lullabying and rubbing, Crowley's exhausted body lay still; breathing shallow and aggressively he glared at the flames in the fireplace, blaming them for his moment of "weakness." Jenna noticed his discomfort and sighed.

"Crowley, please don't be angry at yourself," said Jenna softly, trailing an irresistably soft finger along his face. Crowley closed his eyes and turned so that he was laying on his back, then opened them to see Jenna's sweet smile. "I know you don't like me to see you upset, but it's--I'm honored you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around me," she admitted, blushing and looking away from the shock in his gorgeous eyes, "and I love being the one to offer comfort to such a wondrous being." 

Crowley blinked and blushed a brilliant scarlet from his neck to the roots of his fiery hair. He opened his mouth to reply, but found that he couldn't remember how to form or vocalize words. 

"Plus," continued Jenna more cheerfully, still looking away but smiling slightly, "this evens things out a bit."

Still unable to speak, Crowley furrowed his brow and quirked his head at her inquisitively. Jenna glanced down at his lightening visage, grinned and explained, "I hate you seeing me upset, but that happens 24/7! At least the score isn't Jenna: 1.4 trillion and Crowley: 0 anymore!"

The sheer ridiculousness of his girlfriend's statement brought Crowley out of his catatonia enough for him to scoff loudly, roll his eyes and reply sarcastically, "Oh yeah, cuz THAT'S accurate!"

"Well, I admit that 'even things out' wasn't the _best_ choice of words, since your newly sprouted molehill still can't _possibly_ compare to my towering Everest--" replied Jenna thoughtfully with a mischevious sideways glance.

"Oh, you wanna compare?" he teased, smirking up at Jenna. "Right, raise your hand if last week you called and threatened to cremate an astoundingly incompetent Door Dash employee--"

"Ah yes, Dave," interrupted Jenna, nodding thoughtfully and smiling, "the one who sounded but looked nothing like Hugh Grant."

"Yes, fake Hugh, exactly!--anyway, threatened to cremate Dave and mail his ashes to his parents in a Chinese take-out container if he didn't get here in 5 minutes?" He raised his left hand with a little twirl, watched her not raise hers and continued, "Alright then, do the same if you got into a heated, hour-long argument with two WASPs over the innumerable sins of scolding a two-year-old for coloring OUTSIDE the lines?" 

Jenna giggled when Crowley waved his hand obnoviously high over their heads. "No? Just me again? Same must go for having a panic attack every time you see a horse, since you love them so much--"

"Well, if I got trampled to death by five different horses in a span of 500 years," argued Jenna fairly, "they'd make me anxious too!" 

"--nor do you get even the _slightest_ bit misty-eyed during _A Walk in the Clouds_ , which I still can't believe was unable to melt even your icy heart--"

"Hey! People respond to films differently than--"

"--while I, on the other hand," he continued, pointing at himself and looking up at Jenna, "couldn't stop crying from the moment they got off the bloody bus to the end--"

"Well that's just an exaggeration," mumbled Jenna, shrugging nonchalantly and trying not to smile. 

Crowley smirked. "And finally, for the piece de resistance," he said overdramatically, "raise your hand, ladies and gentlemen, if you......yell at your plants to "grow better" and "be greener" when they don't look absolutely perfect." He raised his hand and looked around. "Wait, wait, keep 'em up everyone, I want to count!"

Jenna smiled indulgently. "You speak much kinder to them now--and you never actually hurt them physically, don't forget that!" she added, pointing at him eagerly. "You sometimes still threaten them, but after running the disposal you always take the offending parties outside and plant them in the--"

"Well don't tell the whole bloody world!" he growled with mock agitation, glancing around the room quickly and trying not to smile but failing when Jenna giggled and kissed his nose. "Don't--you think a kiss is gonna fix this?" he continued, grinning widely and sitting up as her giggles evolved into uncontrollable cachinnations. "That, missy, is a super secretive secret only Angel and you know---"

"Sorry, did you just say 'super secretive secret?'" Jenna chuckled, holding up a hand and turning right to face the demon now sitting next to her. 

"Oh, I chose my words _very carefully_ ," he assured her in a low, menacing voice, which only caused Jenna to shriek with laughter and wrap her arms around her torso as cackles doubled her over. "Your jussssst trying to ruin my ssssstreet cred, aren't you, Miss Kingsssssley?" he hissed playfully, allowing his forked tongue to flit out and assist his banter. 

Jenna just leaned back and laughed freely, unencumbered by freak-out scores or devouring entities or guilt or murderous angels or anything bad. Crowley smiled, content with yet another bad job done well. ( _What's so bad about it?_ his confused inner angel asked his inner demon, the latter of whom was staring avidly through Crowley's eyes to watch Jenna snicker at their collective (yes, even the angel helped out a bit) shenanigans. _"Looks like a GOOD job to me--"Oh, shut up,"_ hissed his inner demon, crossing his arms and sticking a forked tongue out at the angel before gluing his yellow eyes back on the "screen" and continuing to crunch on Cheeto-Puffs absent-mindedly.) 

Once Jenna caught her breath, she sat back up, took his hands, looked into his amused golden irises and panted, "You know, you really are an excellent distraction."

This of course triggered raucous cackles from Crowley, who fell backwards as well when Jenna all but leapt into his arms and hugged him tightly. Breathing heavily, he looked down through half-closed lids at the gorgeous woman sprawled on top of him, her face only inches from his until he closed the gap quickly with eager lips. The two lovebirds kissed slowly and passionately for a while, then reprised their earlier spooning roles on the opposite end of the sofa. 

Both stared deeply into the still-roaring Hellfire for what felt like several silent hours until Jenna asked, "I forgot to ask earlier--have you ever been to other dimensions? Or worlds, universes, whatever?"

Crowley shook his head. "Not the types Hecate means," he replied, stroking her long hair gently with spindly fingers. "I've been in different Earthbound dimensions--subdimensions, I think they're called--but those were all created by God, part of Her universe. So no, I've never been in universes not created by Her."

"Hmm," Jenna intoned, then frowned. "Wait, there are dimensions WITHIN dimensions?"

"Oh, you have no idea," groaned Crowley, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "About fifty years ago, I got stuck in this creepy SAU (that's sub-alternate universe) where everything was exactly the same, but ducks were carnivorous predators. Damn buggers nearly ripped my throat out a coupla times before I had the sense to roast 'em with Hellfire and wait for the next portal to open as a snake in a tree."

Jenna giggled. "Aww, poor snake baby," she cooed, reaching back to stroke Crowley's cheek affectionately with the back of her hand. The demon closed his eyes and leaned into her touch as she lamented over his misfortune. "That sounds awful....how long were you there?"

Crowley caught her hand and began delicately kissing her wrist and palm before continuing, "Only bout three hours, but then there was a mix-up with the portal and I had to wait six bloody stopovers before it dropped me off in my world." He shuddered involuntarily. "Couldn't feed the ducks with Angel for at least a year." 

Jenna whimpered sympathetically while rolling over and burrowing into Crowley's warm, muscular chest again. "That's terrible, sweetheart..."

"Mmm...." Crowley hummed absent-mindedly, much too distracted by her icy nose nuzzling the bare skin exposed by his V-neck shirt, and her accompanying sweetly hot breath, to even remember what they were discussing. He ran his fingers through her long, lustrous hair and gently pressed her face to his chest and neck again, hoping she'd repeat the tantallizing display of affection. Jenna grinned and, knowing how much he enjoyed the sensation, slowly rubbed her rapidly warming nose up and down his neck and exhaled warmth onto his shivering skin.

"Oh God Jenna..." moaned Crowley, his breath and heart rate quickening as waves of intense desire pulsed throughout his corporation. "Tha'feelssssss _sssssogoood_....." He gasped and moaned louder when she began kissing, suckling and nipping his neck and chest. Still cradling her head with his right hand, Crowley sensuously slid his left hand down her strong back, over her right hip and shorts and lovingly caressed the silky smooth skin and softness of her long leg. Jenna sighed happily when he gently pulled her leg up so that it was over his hips, and kissed him passionately on his soft, full lips. Crowley instantly swallowed her mouth and did even more wonderful things with his tongue than usual, simultaneously melting Jenna's mind and triggering electric pulsations of lust in her squirming body. 

With a dexterity still new to her as a recently-Evolved Celestern, Jenna swiftly climbed on top of Crowley and helped him settle comfortably underneath her without breaking their steaming kiss. As frantic hands undid buttons and removed shirts, as bodies moved and voices cried out in pleasure, Crowley's infernal fire danced to the unfamiliar tune of pure love, devotion and respect as a little more of Hell burned away each second. By morning, all that remained of the supposedly everlasting flames were smoldering ashes and the sweet smell of tart apples. 


	5. Processing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna, Aziraphale and Crowley *try to* discuss Devouring Energies, then receive an unexpected call

"So, this is a stupid question," began Jenna, accepting a mug of hot chamonile tea from Aziraphale in the back living room of his bookshop, "since it's probably self-explanatory, but I'm gonna ask it anyway: what exactly IS a 'Devouring Energy?'" 

Aziraphale froze in the act of handing Crowley a tall glass of wine for a second, then cleared his throat awkwardly and set the tea tray down shakily on an antique side table. "Not stupid at all, my dear," he mumbled, carefully sitting on the edge of his customary armchair and gazing fearfully at his fidgeting hands. "Um, well, to put it very simply, a "Devouring Energy or Entity" is, as far as we know, a sentient force whose only known desire is, as you intuited and its name suggests, to consume all it encounters. In the case of That Which We Shall Not Discuss--"

"Your lot really call it that, then?" asked Crowley conversationally, a mocking smile playing about his lips. "I thought that was just a rumor--"

"Yes, well, _Gabriel_ insisted," replied Aziraphale testily, rolling his eyes. Crowley nodded in understanding, then took another sip of wine before setting down the glass, leaning back on the tan couch and wrapping a long arm around Jenna's shoulders. She shuffled into his embrace and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Force of habit, I meant to call it whatever your people do--what is it? Tally-ho or some--"

"It's _TEO_ , Angel," sighed Crowley in exasperation, shaking his head and covering his eyes with his right hand. "Short for The Empty One, an abbreviation."

"Ah," said Aziraphale in understanding. "That makes much more sense. Well, anyway--"

"And what's all this about 'my people?'" continued Crowley, frowning. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't exactly associate with my Hellish brethren much since Armageddon't--"

"Well, you started it, referring to celestial beings as 'my lot!'" Aziraphale spat back, crossing his arms and glaring at the demon. 

Crowley opened his mouth to blindly argue when Jenna held up a finger and interjected, "Zira does have a point there, honey. You did say "your lot" when asking if angels really called TEO 'That Which We Shall Not Discuss--'"

Crowley groaned. "Fine, fine," he conceded, kissing the top of her head and continuing his glaring contest with the angel until Jenna made him apologize, which he did so reluctantly. 

"Thank you," replied Aziraphale primly, straightening his waistcoat and nodding curtly. "Anyway, Miss Kingsley, as I was saying--in the case of TEO, the Devouring Energy leaving its home in world AB78% for God's universe, it usually takes the form of an immense black cloud, larger than the United States, and invades worlds like a fog, dissolving everything in its path until there's nothing left--not even Nothing."

Jenna frowned and opened her mouth, when her boyfriend groaned again and chastised Aziraphale, "You can't just _talk_ like that, you know! Even _I_ barely get what you mean and we were both around when Nothing was invented! How d'you expect a normal person--"

"Celestern," Jenna corrected him automatically, frowning deeper and glancing between the two man-shaped corporations worriedly. 

"Fine, Celestern--" conceded Crowley, "but who was _still_ raised _on Earth, by humans,_ with their _weird_ little concepts of time and space and stuff, to know what the Heaven you're talking about?!" 

"Well, there's no reason to jump down my throat about it!" whined Aziraphale, looking a bit hurt and crossing his arms defensively. "It was hard enough explaining Devouring Energy accurately while excluding the more complex bits about collapsing quarks and the sixth dimension--"

"Oh, you and your stupid quarks--!"

"Hey!" interrupted Jenna loudly, glaring at the bickering supernatural entities. "Stop fighting! Crowley," she continued in a softer tone, turning towards the shame-faced demon. "I know you're scared and stressed--"

"'m not sca--" he grumbled half-heartedly. 

"Yes you are, as are Zira and myself, because this situation is extremely terrifying. But that's no excuse to treat your best friend poorly," she continued, peering up meaningfully into his downcast yellow eyes. "Zira's explaining things just fine, I understand what's going on, please just---no more fighting, okay?"

Crowley glanced up at her sheepishly, nodded and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry love," he whispered into her hair. "I'm a tosser, making things harder for you--"

"No you're not," replied Jenna firmly. "You're just scared and stressed, like any reasonable person--sorry, being--would be at this point." She pulled away and smiled up at him reassuringly. "Now apologize to Zira so we can move on."

Crowley sighed heavily, then turned to his angelic best friend and said with sad eyes, "I'm sorry, Aziraphale. I had no right to treat you like that--"

The angel shook his head and sniffled, looking away awkwardly. "No, it's my fault," he said thickly. "I always fumble over my words when I'm nervous--it's a wonder either of you can even understand me," he laughed weakly, tiny tears leaking out of his crystal blue eyes. 

"Ah no, Angel--we'd be lost without you, you were doing fine till I opened my big fat mouth and--"

"--can't _believe_ I referred to TEO by Gabriel's stupid moniker--haven't even _discussed_ world AB78% with that fool since 1287 AD--"

"--honestly, I can't even remember what Nothing consists of, besides the obvious--"

"Alright, that's enough self-deprecation for one afternoon," cried Jenna cheerfully, which made her friends laugh in spite of their inconspicuous crying. "Aren't we a fine group--when we're not avoiding the ginormous elephant in the room by attacking each other, we're doing so by attacking ourselves."

"What d'you suggest we do instead?" chuckled Crowley, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead. "Attack the elephant?"

"Well, discuss it maturely at least," reasoned Jenna. "Or with whatever semblance of maturity we can muster."

Aziraphale sighed. "You're right of course, Miss Kingsley," he acquiesced with a forlorn nod, then smiled fondly at Crowley. "We're rather used to ignoring problems until the last minute in favor of bickering and drinking, aren't we, my friend?"

Crowley chuckled, shook his head and closed his eyes wearily. "It's a wonder we ever got anything done, let alone helped prevent Armaggedon," he agreed, opening his eyes to take another sip of wine, which the angel reciprocated. 

"Well, yeah," said Jenna matter-of-factly, taking her warm chamomile tea in hand again. "If I'm not mistaken, you each did the bulk of your share apart from each other: Zira analyzed Agnes Nutter's book alone in his shop, and you destroyed--well, temporarily--Ligur and subdued Hastur, then drove through literal Hellfire to get to the airbase, all by your lonesome." She paused. "Honestly, the only thing you two did well as a team was planning and executing the body-swap, which didn't prevent Armaggedon so much as your _own_ demises."

Crowley and Aziraphale frowned curiously at Jenna, then each other. "I--well, I'd never thought of it like that before," confessed Aziraphale, shaking his head slightly. "I do suppose that, when it comes down to it, we tend to be more productive when not in the same location--"

"That would also explain why literally every time we tried to do a miracle or temptation together," interjected Crowley, pointing at the angel thoughtfully, "it went pear-shaped pretty severely." He looked down at Jenna in awe. "How long it take you to--"

"Oh, I started supposing that last year, when you and Zira first told me everything," Jenna replied casually, waving a nonchalant hand and sipping her cooling tea. "Honestly, after the first few stories it wasn't hard to recognize the 'Demon and angel work well separately, then every hundred years or so get blind drunk, muse on random things and as a result accidentally wreak havoc on neighboring human communities' pattern." 

Crowley frowned for a second, then shrugged his shoulders and leaned back comfortably into the couch. "Fair point, that. Don't you agree?" he asked Aziraphale, who was blushing bright magenta and fidgeting something awful. 

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say _havoc_ \--" he began nervously. Crowley raised a skeptical eyebrow, which deflated any sense of pride the angel had left. "Oh alright. Yes, Miss Kingsley," he replied, smiling affectionaly and not unashamedly at the Celestern, "your asessment of our relationship is remarkably astute. I forgot your unparalleled talent for extensively and creatively analyzing narratives, even spoken ones."

"Yeah, you should have read her college essays," agreed Crowley, jerking a thumb at a groaning Jenna. "The professors always loved--"

"Alright! Alright! Enough distractions, back to the topic at hand!" cried Jenna firmly, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. The two supernatural entities smiled knowingly at each other and Jenna but stopped talking. "Thank you. Zira," continued the Celestern in a slightly calmer tone, trying to address the angel casually, "you were saying something twenty or so minutes ago about the particular Devouring Energy from world AB78% being a dark, sentient cloud whose fog would invade and consume everything?"

Her recap seemed to sober her friends up pretty well: Crowley, he started jiggling his left leg up and down rapidly whilst staring fixedly at the carpet and Aziraphale coughed and cleared his throat a bit more than was strictly biologically necessary before replying timidly, "Um, yes. Yes, that is correct. It--TEO, that is--has the apparent ability to destroy up to six universes per millennia, and according to High Priestess Hecate has so far devoured five, the last being its own birth realm."

"Wow," whispered Jenna, eyes wide and jaw unwittingly clenched tightly. "Did it destroy its home world on purpose, or--?"

"Probably," answered Crowley darkly, leg still moving anxiously. "Devouring Entities aren't exactly known for their sentimentality, and their birth realm is the only place in which they can be contained for, say, longer than a few hundred years." 

Jenna blinked. "So, now that that's gone, we can't trap it anywhere?" she asked quietly, staring blankly at the Persian rug under their feet. 

Crowley and Aziraphale glanced nervously at each other, but didn't reply. The three supernatural beings sat in thick, terrified silence until Crowley couldn't take it anymore and turned on the angel's old radio. He fiddled with the dials until he found an oldies station blaring, "Yellow Submarine," then returned to the couch and offered Jenna a hug, which she immediately reciprocated, burying her face in his chest while the demon stroked her hair gently. 

_We all live in a Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine_

_We all live in a--- **Crowley, Aziraphale, Jenna Kingsley? Are you there?**_

The demon's arms tightened around his beloved protectively as he whipped around to glare in fury and alarm at the radio. Aziraphale was doing the same, though his expression was more shocked than anything else. Jenna just furrowed her brow and wondered why Paul McCartney was speaking to them at all, let alone via an old foxhole radio. 

"Who wants to know?" barked Crowley at the offending device. 

**_Oh good, you're there--sorry for the bother, it's Hecate. I just--_ **

It was at this point thatCrowley yelped, released Jenna, bounded off the couch and genuflected before the radio, saying in a low, breathless voice, "Please forgive my rudeness, Your Lowness. I had no idea it was you speaking, but of course I am most honored--"

**_Please, none of that is necessary Crowley, you need to stand up--_ **

"Oh, fuck! Sorry, meant to call you 'Sir!'"he cried desperately, standing up slowly and edging away from the radio. "You, uh, you aren't still removing people's livers if they don't call you--"

**_Oh for the love of Mamon--Aziraphale? Can you shut him up so I can get this over with?_ **

"Of course, High--Sir," replied Aziraphale, blushing at his own mistep in addressing Satan's XO. "Come here and sit down, dear boy--there's nothing to be afraid of--"

**_Thank you, Aziraphale. Again, so sorry for the rude interruption, I hate using this mode of communication--no offense Crowley, I know it was your idea--_ **

"Absolutely none taken in the slightest, Sir!" cried Crowley with altogether way too much enthusiasm. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, Jenna stifled a giggle and Paul McCartney groaned before continuing, 

**_I am requesting that each of you please attend a formal meeting in Purgatory, conference room D tomorrow at.....let's see....9:30am your time. We--Queen Vega, myself, several high-ranking demons and angels and, unfortunately, our Fabulous Five criminals back from their little vacation--need to discuss how to defeat TEO within the next year, before it reaches our realm's borders. The meeting should last all day, refreshments will be provided and breaks taken as needed. Any questions?_ **

"Um, Sir?" Aziraphale said nervously, raising his hand tentatively. "Regarding the five criminals--how will Miss Kingsley remain safe in--"

**_Oh of course. Not to worry on that front at all, Jenna,_ Paul reassurred the young Celestern. _As I mentioned, if the bastards even THINK about harming you, not to mention Crowley or Aziraphale, they'll find themselves in a quagmire of their worst nightmares._**

"Oh, yes, of course! Thank you again so much!" replied Jenna politely, heart hammering in her chest as she tried to process what the fuck was happening. 

**_Not at all, my dear. Anyway, see you all tomorrow at 9:30am in Conference room D--Crowley, would it be easier if I just sent the instructions directly to--_ **

"No! No, nononono, not necessary at all, Sir," exclaimed Crowley loudly and hastily. "I'll, uh--we'll remember. No need to send the info right into our brains, although we very much appreciate the--"

 _ **Oh yes, I forgot, you mentioned how unpleasant that was--sorry for asking, I'll have to remove that from the--hey, Mike? Mike! Why is it still listed as 'Optional' to transmit information directly into field agents' minds?! I thought we decided--** _"coming up next, two uninterrupted hours of Queen!" continued a perky female voice, then a commercial about duct tape. 

Crowley snapped the radio off. "Well, that was a thing," he said incredulously. Aziraphale sat back down on his armchair and stared fearfully at his colorful ancient rug. Jenna ran her fingers through her long brown hair and tried not to picture encountering the five celestial and infernal beings she helped condemn to a decade of soul-crushing mortality.


	6. Deja vu all over again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna, Crowley and Aziraphale attend Hecate's *mandatory* meeting in Purgatory, where old colleagues return, opposing sides network and plans are formed. BTW, does Aziraphale have a crush?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's pretty foundational because it introduces Samhain (who may or may not be Aziraphale's love interest) as well as the concept of asking deities (Greek, Norse and Egyptian) for help, and reintroduces the archangels and demons I exiled in the first book. I planned to incorporate Hindu deities as well, but don't know anything about the religion and figured everyone was better off without me royally misrepresenting it. I'm sorry there isn't more variety, I wanted to include other deities as well (like Native American, African, Chinese, etc) but know so little I couldn't do them justice without years or even decades of extensive research. Therefore, I'm sticking with what I know: Zeus, Thor and Osiris. I'll need all the help I can get too, so please comment on how I write the gods and goddesses, as well as represent their worlds! Thank you

All things considered, Jenna was glad the meeting was in a different conference room and the seats arranged in a much less intimidating fashion than when Vega, four holier-than-thou archangels and three disgruntled demons tested her Celesternal powers seven months prior. More specifically, she appreciated sitting between Crowley and Aziraphale around a circular table rather (than alone in front of intimidating supernatural figures) in an office so much more spacious, occupied and noisy than where she first had to demonstrate powers over which she barely had any control. 

Hence the final factor keeping her calm: there were neither scorch marks nor the faint, pervading scent of sulfur here that to Jenna's severe shame and offers to pay exorbidantly (and Vega's laughing her offer off very casually) the queen of Purgatory had been unable to remove from Conference Room B. 

"You alright, love?" Crowley whispered from her left, lowering his anxious face to peer into hers with concern. "Just remember, we can leave whenever--"

"We can't, but I appreciate your delusional support," Jenna chuckled, smiling warmly at her serpent's golden eyes. "I'm still anxious, but much less so that I'm not the focus of this particular gathering." 

"Yes, thank the dear Lord for that!" sighed Aziraphale on her right, placing his hand comfortingly over heres and offering a paternal grin of encouragement.

"Well, Someone, anyway," Crowley muttered, shaking his head and trying to blink away the memories. "That was bloody awful, don't know how we survived that--"

"Well, not to brag," Jenna brag sarcastically, "I did by bursting into Hell flames, then shamelessly leaking holy water from both eye sockets, which cleared most of the room. Including both of you." Her smile fell, as did her guilty gaze. "I'm so sorry about that again, I could have--" she began quietly.

Aziraphale tsked and gripped her hand tighter. "Oh, what's a bit of Hellfire between friends?" he replied, smiling affectionately at his distraught friend. "Besides, we both got to put on a bit of a show for the others, seeing as we're _immune to both as well_ \--" He winked at her. 

Jenna straightened up quickly. "Oh yes, of course," she said slightly louder, ignoring the knot in her stomach. "What am I saying? Such a dunce--of course neither could harm either one of you!" She smiled mischievously at both.

"Yep," agreed Crowley cheerfully, pulling her into a side hug and kissing the top of her head. "Vega had to snap us out of the bloody room so she could talk to you privately."

"Well, more you than me," Aziraphale corrected him. "I chose to abide by the queen's wishes when she kindly asked us to wait outside Conference Room B, whereas you--"

"--felt it necessary to stay with my girlfriend during a time of immense distress?" finished Crowley testily over Jenna's head. "Yes, as a matter of fact I did! Anything wrong with--"

"Okay, okay, time out!" interrupted Jenna, sitting up and making the proverbial symbol with her hands. "Meeting starts in two minutes, so pause your game until afterwards, okay? I promise you can verbally annhilate each other once we're back home. Just--not in front of Vega, please. Or Hecate. or Lord Beezlebub. You owe them that much, at least."

Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other, then at the respective queen, High Priestess and prince of Hell, who were chatting in a far corner of the room. 

"Yeah, that's a good call, love," muttered Crowley nervously, squirming in his black swivel seat. Jenna patted his hand. 

Suddenly, the large metal doors behind them thundered open; the ponderous room, formerly buzzing with indistinct chatter, fell instantly silent. Jenna, Crowley and Aziraphale spun around in their matching chairs just as several identical heavily armed Purgatorial guards marched in, sharp spears held aloft, then parted to reveal more armored soldiers surrounding and glaring at five supernatural beings. More precisely, three haughty, red-faced archangels, now sporting mismatched clothing and (in two cases) unattractive patches of facial hair, struggling to appear aloof under everyone's intense gaze, as well as two shifty-eyed demons wearing terrible straw-like wigs (one bone white, the other a horrendous shade of orange) glancing fearfully about the room and shaking slightly.

"Ah, well, if it isn't our little renegades," sneered Hecate icily, hands on her hips as she surveyed them through cold emerald slits. "Just in time for my special annoucement before we begin. Please, have a seat." She gestured with a snow-white hand at the five remaining black chairs situated between her seat (marked with stacks of papers, graphs and yellowing scrolls) and that of a sinister creature smelling faintly of rotting tuna with silvery, serrated skin; rows of pointed teeth tinged unpleasantly pink and beady obsidian eyes surveying the trembling former prisoners hungrily. 

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea (as it were), each former Earth exile chose their seat carefully. Hastur and Ligur, being the most familiar with Hecate's infamous wrath, decided to take their chances with the shark-like being. Hastur claimed seniority and sat down one seat away from them, leaving the orange-haired duke to glare murderously at the back of his colleague's head, sit down and scoot his chair as far as he reasonably could from their piscine neighbor, who was licking their lips and sniffing the air around the demons most disconcertingly. 

Sandalphon and Michael eyed the white-haired duke of Hell and Hecate with equal displeasure, but Gabriel immediately set his briefcase down at the seat next to Satan's executive officer before anyone else had a chance to move. Then, as Hastur and Ligur booked it in the opposite direction, the uncharacteristally unkempt and poorly dressed archangel scurried over to Hecate's chair, pulled it out for her, then looked up expectantly like a beagle puppy waiting eagerly for a walk. 

Hecate groaned, covered her face with her left hand and shook her head wearily. "Just sit down, you collosal idiot," she grumbled, pointing with her free hand to his chosen seat and not sitting down herself until he reluctantly did first. 

Sandalphon and Michael just rolled their eyes, then did something weird with their hands to decide who sat next to Gabriel. It looked like rock-paper-scissors, but involved gold sparks, bangs and wiggling fingers; Jenna made a mental note to ask Aziraphale about it later. After Sandalphon won, he settled in smugly next to Archangel Gabriel (who it should be noted was trying desperately to fix his shaggy hair and nervously glancing at Hecate, who it should also be noted was thoroughly ignoring him), and Michael sat down next to him, all the while keeping her long, willowy arms tightly folded and paying Hastur as little heed as possible (which was difficult, considering the former and his horrified colleague were edging as far from the increasingly aggressive shark-being as possible and unwittingly into the angels' personal space. 

"Well, that was amusing," said Vega cheerfully and with an evil grin. "Welcome, archangels....dukes. You're all looking----well, you know how much I hate to lie...."

"If you two bastards do ANYTHING to further disgrace me, our master or Hell itself," hissed Lord Beezlebub murderously at Hastur and Ligur, "you'll BEG us to return you to that dinghy apartment in Queens--"

"Of co--g _et off you great lump!_ \--of _course_ not, Lord Beezlebub--" grunted Hastur with some difficulty, as Ligur leapt into his lap to avoid a viscious swipe from the shark being's saber-esqe claws. "Wouldn't-- _oh come on be a demon you idiot!_ \--dream of it--"

"Yeah, furthest thing from our minds," agreed Ligur in his slight Cockney accent, glaring at their neighbor and holding up a threatening hand of Hellfire. 

Hecate sighed short and pointedly. "Thank you, Graves, that'll be enough," she said kindly to the humanoid sea creature, who immediately stopped snarling at Ligur, inclined their head respectfully to Hecate and opened their padfolio as though nothing had happened. Ligur extinguished his fire and blinked rather stupidly until Hastur roughly shoved him off his lap, after which he resumed his seat but eyed Graves, who now appeared quite mild-mannered and thoroughly engrossed in his paperwork, warily. 

"Oh, and speaking of 'things on your minds,'" continued Hecate brightly, standing up in all her striking black and white glory, "just a little announcement before we start figuring out how to save the universe.

"As everyone here, particularly you five, know quite well by now, I am not to be trifled with," the high priestess began in an icy, precise tone, glaring bloody, poisonous daggers at the former prisoners. "Especially when innocent lives, lives NOT destined to end up in Hell, are at stake." She glanced slowly and pointedly at Jenna, who looked down and squirmed in her seat. "When anyone, be they demon or angel, threatens an innocent life unnecessarily, it tends to make me rather cross." She bent down slightly, placing both hands on the table and narrowing her threatening veridian gaze at the traitors. "And when I'm rather cross, things tend to happen to the guilty parties. Bad things. Bloody things. Brains-splattered-on-the-wall-but-you're-still-conscious-and-screaming type of things." 

Hastur and Ligur were shivering so badly their wigs nearly fell off and their chairs shook. Even Sandalphon and Michael looked a bit disgusted and perturbed, while Gabriel shook his head and shrugged at the demons as if to say, "It's your own fault, you know."

"And what precisely do you look so smug about, Holy Archangel Gabriel?" Hecate hissed sinisterly. 

Gabriel snapped his attention back to the high priestess, frowned and replied with the same charismatic voice Jenna remembered, "Wh-What do you mean, Hec--"

"First of all, that's 'High Priestess' or 'Sir' to you, _felon_ ," she hissed. Gabriel deflated materially. "Second of all, you were the ringleader of the unsuccessful mission to kidnap and somehow Convert, either in Heaven or Hell, Miss Jenna Kingsley, correct? Or is every witness at Queen Vega's mannor, including your employees--" Hecate jerked her pointed chin at Sandalphon and Michael "--lying to me, someone who can sense dishonesty in all its forms?" 

Gabriel stared at her in shock and stammered for a good 10 seconds before Hecate took pity on everyone else and continued speaking. "Anyway," she addressed the five at large, "given my propensity to be rather--overzealous, let's say--when assigning punishments, you five are quite lucky I was not responsible for yours. As are you that, given our current circumstances, your combined exile on Earth as humans was temporarily--hey! Look at me-- _tem-por-AR-i-ly,_ " she repeated slowly and emphatically, "meaning it will continue when and if we somehow save the universe--halted and your respective powers, which for some Satan-forsaken reason no one else can utilize, returned." She paused to glare at the squirming and very uncomfortable supernatural beings like a mother grizzly confronting a hunter, then straightened up, adopted an expression of relative nonchalance and began slowly circling the table. 

"You are also quite lucky that Miss Kingsley is so compassionate," she added, eyeing them disinterestedly. The angels and demons frowned at each other in confusion. "If she hadn't spoken to me this morning regarding the severity of the spells I placed on you in order to ensure her, Mr. Crowley and Mr. Aziraphale's protection, specifically to suggest I loosen the hold a bit, you would all most certainly be writhing on the floor in a psychological nightmare of your own devising." Hecate grinned evilly and her emerald eyes flashed red for a moment. 

The angels looked confused, but realization dawned on Hastur and Ligur simultaneously. Their jaws dropped and they stared in awe, shock and profound bewilderment at Jenna, whose face was mahogany and determinedly facing her lap. 

"Y-you mean--" stammered Hastur, his voice at once fearful and uncertain, "--you mean she asked you to remove the clause that--that--"

"--discouraged you from even considering harming her and her allies? Yes," Hecate finished sweetly, her smile and mesmerizing eyes grim. "Which I agreed to, after she Persuaded me that the likelihood of you being in their presence and NOT thinking such things was virtually impossible at this point. Seeing as we need _everyone's_ minds sharp, focused and sane now, even the most useless ones--" she inclined her head politely at the five supernatural beings "--I chose to follow Miss Kingsley's sage, empathetic advice and removed the stipulation preventing you from thinking horrible things about her, Crowley and Aziraphale. Which, unfortunately," she sighed sadly, "automatically removes the spell preventing you from being able to think such thoughts at all, psychological torment threats or no--"

"Wait!" cried Michael, holding up a hand and looking furious. "You mean--"

"I mean," interrupted Hecate very sharply, which caused even lofty Michael to look embarrassed and lower her hand slowly, "that, although apparently you're all too stupid to notice, you've been able to think whatever you like about Jenna, Crowley and Aziraphale for the last--oh, maybe ten minutes or so?"

"I'm quite certain you're lying," sneered Sandalphon, crossing his arms and raising a critical eyebrow at the high priestess. Before she could respond (indeed, before the sentence was even quite finished), his four comrades did so in several curious ways: Gabriel and Michael placed their hands over the rotund angel's mouth (much to his shock and displeasure), smiled toothily at Hecate and stammered their apologies, while Hastur and Ligur hissed at Sandalphon fearfully to shut up, got off their chairs and prostrated themselves on the floor, begging pathetically for her mercy. 

It was so hilarious that Jenna pretended to drop a pen so she could snicker under the table and Crowley faked a coughing fit that sounded more like barking laughter. 

Meanwhile, Hecate just stared blankly at the ridiculousness before her, sighed heavily, buried her face in her left hand and muttered some excellent Enochian (well, _demon_ -Enochian) curse words before silencing the angels with a wave of her hand. She then rolled her eyes and snapped at the dukes of Hell to "sit up for Satan's sake and stop all this nonsense," which they did immediately as if by magic. 

Hecate shook her head hopelessly at all of them, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She then plastered a customer-service smile on her beautiful face and replied to Sandalphon, "You are more than welcome to test it for yourself. I assure you nothing mentally or otherwise torturous will happen--especially since none of you are burdened with a conscience," she added under her breath to the ceiling. 

The high priestess then turned to Jenna, Crowley and Aziraphale, smiled rather more easily and assured them kindly, "As I told Miss Kingsley, nothing bad will happen to you three either--these bastards can think whatever they like, my spells still won't let them manifest it. And the other clauses are in place, preventing them from visiting, harming in any way, even addressing you unless you do so first." 

Crowley grinned demonically at Hastur and raised an eyebrow. "Is that ssssssso....?" he hissed musically. "Well, ssssounds like ssssssssomeone finally figured out a way to ssssssssssssshut you lot up!"

Hastur's pallid face, which up until now had primarily displayed fear and only anger toward Sandalphon and Ligur, rearranged itself into its customary configuration of pure, unadulterated contempt, all of it directed right now at his smirking ex-colleague. He opened his mouth to retort something unpleasant, but found he couldn't remember what he was doing once he did (given that Crowley had not spoken to him directly) and could only close his mouth stupidly as Crowley and Jenna roared with laughter. Hastur, fuming literal smoke from flared nostrils, glared at the couple for a few seconds before his face lit up and blotchy black eyes widened suddenly. 

"Hey," he said to Ligur eagerly, smacking his shoulder lightly with the back of his hand. "She--Sir's right! I've been thinking all sorts of things just now, and I'm fine!"

Ligur blinked at his demonic partner in wonder. "Really? 'Coz I thought you said--"

"Oh just try it you wanker!"

Ligur looked over at Aziraphale (who smiled and waved awkwardly, much to Crowley's embarrassment) with what seemed more like deep concentration than malice, then a minute later his orange eyes brightened. "You're right--we can think what we like about 'em now--no more havin' to be careful!"

"Well, apparently we NEVER had to be careful--" began Michael icily, crossing her arms and giving Hecate her trademark deathstare through slate grey eyes, but the the men on either side of her were too busy discussing their mutual relief and respective challenges involved in trying their damnedest (or blessedness) not to imagine "pummeling that puff-pastry with the thickest book in that stupid shop," or "running him over with his own bloody car, the flash bastard," or "forcing HER to live as a weak, pathetic mortal in that Queens flat, with nothing but four awful roommates and a broken air conditioner. In summer! In a tiny enclosed, poorly ventilated, nearly windowless room! The AUDACITY!" 

"Alright, alright, that's more than enough," said Hecate commandingly, eyes glinting with amusement as she smiled sideways at Jenna and tried to quiet the throng. "You can all sing Miss Kingsley's praises later--it is thanks to her you have this great psychological privilege returned to you, after all," she reminded the angels and demons, staring from them to Jenna pointedly. 

Their shared happiness soured as sadistic joy slid from their faces like soap on a clean dish. Jenna stifled a giggle at the simultaneously conflicted, frustrated and somewhat grateful expressions on their various faces and wished she had a camera. 

"I am sorry for taking up so much of everyone's valuable time," Hecate gestured apologetically at the other meeting attendees, who bowed respectfully and otherwise indicated it didn't matter. "Normally I would have spoken to the appropriate parties in private prior to such a crucial forum, but I couldn't waste an opportunity to humiliate them all a bit more--"

Everyone in the room except the "appropriate parties" in question chuckled, even the other angels, who had watched Hecate verbally slice into Gabriel with a sort of grim satisfaction bordering on schadenfreude. Hecate smiled and winked at Jenna. 

"Anyway, to business." The high priestess snapped her fingers and a large flat square, rather like a projector screen attached to nothing, appeared in midair behind her, showing a very realistic-looking Earth. "Thank you for coming. I summoned you all here today to discuss the Devouring Entity, namely The Empty One or TEO, currently about nine months from reaching our universe, ten from Earth in particular," she began, no longer smiling as she stared confidently and soberly into everyone's eyes. 

Hecate snapped again, and the image on the screen changed into what looked to Jenna like a tsunami of black billowing clouds swallowing a large unfamiliar city with a purple sky and three suns. "This is current footage of TEO consuming ReDOp," she continued, gesturing at the disturbing image, "one of the most powerful realms in the multiverse. Their leader, **&, is actually the one who warned me about it, days ago, when ReDOp's astrobiologists sensed TEO heading their way." 

"Wait," interrupted a short, gray-haired angel (conveniently, the angels wore white and the demons black, so it was fairly easy to tell everyone apart) with a raised hand and a frown. "You mean that ReDOp's scientists, supposedly the most intelligent and astute in the multiverse, did not sense TEO until mere days before it encroached on their world?"

Hecate nodded grimly. "Apparently, TEO can now conceal itself until it is about 50 light years, or roughly 48 hours SMT, away from a world," she replied. 

"SMT mean Standard Multiverse Time," Crowley whispered to Jenna, who nodded absent-mindedly and tried to keep her breathing even. "How are you doing?"

Jenna gave as genuine a smile as she could, which ended up being a half-hearted grimace. "I'm--well, I'm here," she whispered back truthfully as Hecate fielded other questions from the attendees. "It's--well, I'm glad you're here. How bout you?" She looked up anxiously into his brilliant golden eyes. 

Crowley shrugged nonchalantly. "Terrified," he replied casually, which made both of them smile in spite of themselves. "Glad you're here too--well, not _here_ here, I wish we were both at home on the couch watching something stupid--but-- _together_ , I mean," he explained awkwardly. "Not alone."

Jenna's smile grew into something beautiful. "That's a good way of putting it," she said softly, squeezing his hand and returning his intense, loving gaze. 

"Look, I know you've all got questions, but I've got at least a few answers, so let's hold all further enquiries until the end of my little schpeel, okay?" Hecate said firmly and with a dash of annoyance but not unkindly to the general crowd, which lowered its many hands and grew quiet immediately. "Thank you. Vega, you want to take this?" she muttered to the queen, who nodded and stood up to her full 5'2 height as the much-taller Hecate relaxed with a weary sigh into her wingback chair. 

"Considering TEO is more powerful than Heaven and Hell's combined forces," began Vega, her crisp, business-like British accent a bit sharper and higher pitched than Hecate's, "we're obviously gonna have to call in a few favors from other dimensions, particularly our Greek, Egyptian and Norse comrades." 

Jenna had no idea what she meant, but almost everyone else groaned, rolled their eyes and otherwise expressed their displeasure at Vega's statement. 

"Not those flash bastards!" growled Hastur, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles looked about to tear through his thin pale skin. "They're so lazy and arrogant, we never get anything done when we work with them--"

"They think they're sooooo sPeCiAl!" added a very annoyed dark-haired angel next to Crowley. "Just because their humans write so many legends about them--really, they're no more powerful than any of us, and you don't see US mucking about on Earth just in case a bard or artist sees us, meddling in human affairs like we have nothing better to do!" 

Every other celestial or internal entity else loudly expressed their agreement, with the expection of Crowley and Aziraphale, who silently squirmed uncomfortably in their seats and appeared to find the ceiling suddenly fascinating.

"Whatever your personal opinions on them," interrupted Vega authoritatively with raised hands and stern mahogany eyes, "unless someone has a better idea, we're asking-- _begging_ if necessary--" at this, many supernatural beings gasped in horror "--them to assist us in saving God's realm. _Your_ realm. Which, if you want any hope of preserving for another go at Armaggeddon and your big huge final battle," she added hastily, "you'll agree is well worth the sacrifice of some our pride." 

The angels and demons grudgingly nodded and murmured their assent at this sound logic. Jenna whispered to Crowley, "What in the name of anything are they talking about?"

Crowley just leaned over and replied, "Wait for it," with a frustrating smirk on his handsome face. Jenna glared at him briefly before returning her attention to Vega. 

"And they really do owe us favors," added the queen encouragingly, "particularly the Greeks, so we probably won't have to genuflect much before they acquiesce."

"It's in their best interest as well, anyway," Hecate pointed out matter-of-factly. "Destroying TEO (or at least subduing it in another home dimension) ensures their respective realms' safety as well."

"Gods may be flash bastards, but for the most part SMART and fairly _logical_ flash bastards!" agreed Vega brightly. 

Jenna blinked. _Deities? Greek? Egyptian? Norse? Oh my fucking--_

"Are you talking about mythological gods and goddesses?!" she blurted out, forgetting in her fervor that this was not one of her private training sessions with the Purgatorial ruler but a rather large summit of strangers, enemies and perhaps both. Jenna gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth as every face in the room turned toward her, most with curiosity but some (between about four and six) with profound loathing. 

Crowley and Aziraphale each placed a protective hand on one of Jenna's shoulders and watched the high priestess and queen of Purgaroty carefully. The former smiled encouragingly and mouthed 'It's alright, dear" to the young, red faced Celestern, while the latter grinned indulgently and replied, "Well, they aren't exactly mythological in their respective realms, basically, yes. Greek, Egyptian, Norse and Hindu deities, gods and goddesses, supernatural beings of great power, etc."

Jenna glanced up and nodded respectfully to both female leaders, then returned her mortified gaze to a dark spot on the chestnut table. 

Thank Someone, any number of cosmic rulers at this point, that immediately a demon with beautiful blue skin moving in mesmerizing spirals raised her hand and asked, "Have you contacted any of the deities yet?"

While Vega addressed her and other queries regarding the logistics of her plan, Jenna felt multiple pairs of eyes leave her until she was once again safe and forgotten. Upon exhaling with great relief, she realized her left hand was still covering half her face and quickly lowered it, blushing a deeper shade of crimson and glancing about shiftily. 

"I'm sorry, love," Crowley whispered. Jenna glared up into his very apologetic and admittedly quite attractive face. "I should have just answered your--

"Yes you should have," Jenna hissed back angrily. "You know how excited I get about Greek mythology!"

"You're right."

"Not everything has to be a big reveal! Most things, yes, but not when whatever dignity I have left is at stake and my nerdiness is on display for the goddamn legions of Heaven and Hell to snicker at!" she continued, her still fiercely muttering but not above a slight whisper. 

Crowley just looked down at her with sad, regretful puppy dog eyes. "I'm very sorry," he repeated sincerely, his gorgeous irises melting her irritation efficiently. 

Jenna sighed, pecked his cheek and gently took his left hand. "It's okay," she grumbled. "Would have just found a way to embarrass myself alone anyway--"

"Hey, come on, that's not--"

"Aziraphale?" Vega's brisk voice saying their mutual friend's name ended the couple's conversation effectively. They both looked quickly at the angel, who was staring with wide blue eyes at Vega and pointing to himself. "M-me, Your Majesty?"

"Yes, you, Aziraphale." A renegade grin tugged at the queen's full, scarlet lips. "I seem to recall you owning a vast collection of written material regarding these gods, is that correct?"

Aziraphale gulped audibly. "Y-yes, Your Grace--I do possess a great deal of mythologies centering on the, um--" here he glanced guiltily at his former angelic supervisors "--deities mentioned." He tried to stop there, but Vega's raised eyebrows insisted he elaborate on his sacreligious reading habits. With another gulp and fearful glance at Gabriel, Aziraphale continued, "Mostly secondary sources from the mortal perspective, but I do have a few ancient records composed by Greek, Norse and Egyptian deities themselves, first-hand knowledge of their opinions and mannerisms, as it were--I even acquired the original notes from Prometheus' trial," he added cheerfully, his confidence growing as those he did NOT used to work with around the table listened eagerly, "as well as letters written between Isis and Osiris--"

"Excellent," beamed Vega. "That will be most useful reinstigating positive diplomatic relations with those realms. Samhain," she said to a being concealed behind a huge creature composed of moss-ridden boulders. "You've visited Olympus, Duat and Asgaard numerous times on infernal assignments, correct?"

"Yes, Your Highness," confirmed a low, extremely seductive baritone. 

"Very good. Aziraphale, I would like to introduce Samhain, one of Hell's finest demons responsible for securing Earth relations with the Greek, Norse and Egypt realms in the first place." She gestured at the figure, who stood up to be seen above the boulder demon. Jenna nearly gasped, as did Aziraphale, at the fallen angel's dark, smoldering beauty. He was tall and muscular, which his elegant black tailored suit highlighted, with velvety brown skin, long black hair swept back into a low ponytail and a well-trimmed goatee. 

Samhain smiled kindly and bowed respectfully to Aziraphale, keeping his deep, soulful burgundy eyes on the angel, who hadn't even blinked since the demon revealed himself. Jenna grinned apologetically at Samhain, nudged Aziraphale's arm with her elbow and hissed, "Stand up, Zira!" The angel immediately came to and complied, bowing repeatedly with his apologies, but his eyes also never left the demon, staring in bemused amazement as if Samhain was an entirely new species rather than an extremely attractive human male corporation. He may have stood there for hours, staring, if Jenna hadn't yanked him back down as surreptitiously as she could while Crowley fought unhelpful snickers. 

"I would like you two gentlemen to compare notes on the two realms, concoct a plan to re-secure relations and do so as quickly as possible," continued Vega to Aziraphale and Samhain as Jenna silenced Crowley's distracting chuckled with a quick snap. "This must be done before we cash in our favors, otherwise we risk burning some very crucial bridges. Sound good?" 

It wasn't really a question, but neither looked particularly upset by the request. Samhain simply bowed to Vega and smiled very warmly at the angel, who stammered out, "O-oh! Yes, absolutely! We'll--we will do that. Tickety-boo!", stealing glances at the gorgeous demon and breathing very erratically. Samhain's smile widened to reveal perfect rows of eggshell-white teeth, including two somewhat elongated canines (not as much as a vampire's, but clearly more than a mortal's). 

Jenna saw Gabriel roll his violet eyes, cross his arms and mutter something to Michael, who nodded and whispered something back while they both watched Aziraphale fidget and metaphorically sweat. The young Celestern's eyes flashed red; she made a mental note to ostentatiously inquire about the many human jobs each archangel had either quit or lost during the last six months once the meeting adjourned. 

"Excellent," repeated Vega, smiling brightly. "Now, regarding all you members of the Dark or Light council--please visit every subdimension under your respective jurisdiction and make sure they are at least _relatively_ sturdy; we don't want to save this world only to have a bunch of shadows world destroyed by TEO's backlash," she explained grimly. Most of the angels and demons, including Graves, the boulder creature and the small gray-haired cherub, nodded. 

"Crowley, you've worked with non-occult or-ethereal supernatural beings on Earth, right?" Vega asked the demon, who jumped slightly at being addressed. 

"Um, y-yeah! Yes. S-sure, I guess," he stammered uncertainly, frowning in confusion. 

"Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, that general lot?"

"O-oh! Yes, definitely. Loads of times, yes," he repeated with more confidence. Jenna's eyes volleyed between Crowley's face and Hecate's. 

"Great. Still on good terms with any?" smiled the latter impassively. Crowley thought for a minute, bobbed his head from side to side as though weighing the validity of either answer and finally decided on, "Er, somewhat. Witches mostly, never worked with zombies much but still got a few numbers--uh, still in contact with several vampire gangs in North America, burned a few bridges with the werewolves but ehhhhhhhh--I could probably get a few to help us out." 

"What exzzzzzactly do you mean, 'burned a few bridgezzzz?'" buzzed Lord Beezlebub with narrowed dark eyes at the now terrified demon. To Jenna's shock, Hecate very informally tsked and swatted zem lightly with her left hand, muttering, "Come on, Bee--he doesn't work for you anymore, chill out," then smiled kindly at Crowley and replied, "If you could reach out to whoever you know, explain our situation and that Hell will pay handsomely for their assistance in this matter, we--'we' meaning the whole world, but particularly the Dark Lord--will be extremely appreciative, and consequently very forgiving of past----situations." Her emerald eyes bored into his yellow serpentine ones meaningfully. 

"O-of course, Your Dis--Sir," he stammered, bowing slightly at the waist with one hand on his sternun. "T-that would be most--most excellent if he--the Dark Lord, that is--well--"

"Oh don't worry, he's not that upset about it anymore," Hecate assured him with a nonchalant wave of her pale hand. "He knows there's nothing he can do, so he's largely moved past the matter--I just mean it would materially repair your relationship with Hell, should you ever desire to work with us freelance."

"Oh," replied a stunned Crowley, blinking and staring blankly at ponderous round tabletop. "Well, that--yeah, dunno about the freelance but it'd be great to put the whole thing behind us--"

"Precisely," Hecate grinned beatifically, then leaned back and gestured for Vega to continue. "So sorry dear, go on."

"Not at all, glad you found a job for him," answered Vega, looking surprised and impressed. "I was starting to think--Anyway!" she continued in a louder voice and clapping her hands together. "Guess that just leaves the Celesterns!"

"What about us?" drawled Hastur, raising a grimy hand and sneering at Crowley. "We may not be the Fantastic Mr. Crawly, but we've still--"

"Oh, right!" cried Vega melodramatically. "Thank you so much for reminding me, Hastur--how silly of me!" Vega's sickly sweet smile slowly slipped off her face as she stared darkly at the five disgraced archangels and dukes of Hell. "Your jobs are to stay in your respective realms, ideally in a locked and guarded room, until such time as we need your _powers_ to help us fight TEO. No problems with that, I'm assuming?" 

Sandalphon, Michael and Hastur began to answer her question with indignant fury, but one chilling, red-eyed look from Hecate silenced them instantly.

"I thought not," said Vega in a dangerously low tone, her own eyes looking a bit vermillion. "Glad we got that cleared up." The queen returned her attention to Jenna, now the only unemployed one in the room as it were. 

"Miss Kingsley, we invite you to join Hecate, myself and other seasoned Celesterns in using our powers to create a sort of impenetrable force field surrounding Earth and as much of the universe as we can." She smiled brightly. "Given your immense power, raw talent and enormous growth over the last six months, I believe you can help us accomplish this--well, frankly, this lofty and rather delusional goal--that hopefully succeeds, against numerous odds, in the end."

Jenna froze, forgot how to breathe and just watched herself stare at Vega in profound shock. _Well do something for Someone's sake!_ she shouted at herself. _Anything! Say yes! Ask smart questions! Insult Gabriel! ANYTHING!!_

Crowley nudged her gently with his elbow, which was thankfully enough to snap Jenna out of her coma. Shaking her head quickly, she smiled politely at Vega and Hecate. "Sorry about that, um--wow, that--of course I'll help out, if you want me to," she stammered awkwardly. "I mean, I still can't do much, you know that Veg-- _Your Highness,_ I mean--but if you really want me, of course I want to help save the world! Uh, universe. God's world," she corrected herself before lapsing into embarrassed silence. 

Vega and Hecate smiled sympathetically at her. "Don't worry, dear," Hecate assured her with a maternal-esque love that shocked everyone else in the room irrevocably. "You won't be doing anything dangerous or life-threatening, nor is our plan nearly as hopeless as Vega made it seem." The high priestess glared at Vega and hissed, "The queen, you see, is notorious for her poorly-timed jokes." 

Vega shrugged her shoulders and muttered back, "It could be, you don't know! I don't want to give her false hope, or lie to her!" She bit her lip and looked back at Jenna anxiously. 

Jenna frowned and looked down at her stomach, which gave no indication whether Vega or Hecate were being honest. She figured it was because they both could be, that the scheme was indeed lofty, delusional and unlikely to succeed, but could still prove to be their salvation in the end. She mentally groaned, _Ugh, why didn't I get Divination instead of stupid Seduction?_

"Well, we'll talk about it all later, dear," Vega assured the young Celestern, who looked back up and tried to smile unconcernedly. "For now, I guess the meetings adjourned!" 

"Wow," said Crowley as beings stood up and voices hummed and echoed. "That was...that was a thing, huh?" He looked down at Jenna, who had also stood up but was staring blankly at the projection screen, still showing TEO devouring ReDOp. Crowley hesitated, then tapped llightly on her shoulder. She blinked, shook her head and looked up at him with exhausted eyes and a pained smile. 

"Sorry, just--need to rest," she said softly, accepting Crowley's hug and allowing him to steer her out of the bustling room. 

"Hey, angel! You comin' or what?" Crowley called over his shoulder. Jenna turned around in time to see Aziraphale hurry over with his things and join them, then stop, glance back and mutter "I'll be right back" before straightening his coat, cracking his neck and positively strutting over to Gabriel. 

"Ten pounds says Aziraphale quips something passive-aggressive about that thing growing on his face," Crowley leaned down and muttered into Jenna's ear. She smirked and replied, "Fifteen says he also asks Gabe how _exactly_ he got those ketchup stains on his suit."

"You're on."


	7. Collective Manifestation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna attends her first CRS meeting, at which she gets to know other Celesterns, practices spells and learns new words. Also, who's texting and calling her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! This chapter introduces Kara Veneer, one of my favorite OCs. I've been mentally obsessing over and pretending to be her (yep, pretending to be her. I do that. That's a thing I do) for a while, so I have a pretty clear idea of her personality. Was going to introduce her in "What Fresh Hell is This" instead of "Ineffably Yours," but I reeeeeeaaaaaalllllly wanted her to meet Jenna, so she exists in both. Ok, let me know what you think in the coments!

Jenna was very nervous. Well, she was always very nervous, but particularly today. It was five days after Hecate's mandatory conference in Purgatory, and her first training session with Vega in a week. Only the queen texted beforehand and said this one was due to be "special."

The young Celestern knew what that meant. It meant meeting the other Celesterns with whom she would attempt to save God's realm from TEO's wrath. During the last week or so, Jenna had thought about her agreeing her join their forces and come to the conclusion that this was idiotic, shameful and reckless. _You're not a REAL Celestern_ , sneered those helpful little voices in her head, _not like Vega and Hecate and Someone-knows who else they've got to help....you'll just slow them all down at best and speed along the destruction of the universe at worst. I mean really, Jenna? What were you thinking?_

She wasn't really, at the time; as usual, Jenna had made a decision somewhat impulsively and then spent hours rehashing it in her OCD brain. Also, who said 'nah, I'm good' to an opportunity to not only help save the freakin' WORLD, but do so alongside some of the most powerful supernatural beings in known existence?! 

As such, here sat Jenna in the now quite familiar in Purgatory's lobby, waiting (no pun intended) for Vega to fetch and introduce her to older, smarter and probably infinitely more attractive Celesterns who had centuries ago mastered their complex powers. Unlike HER, who still couldn't detect a change in languages spoken to or by her immediately, keep her Seduction power from inexplicably turning its damn self on after baths and showers (at least she could sense and instantly banish the foul thing now) or utilize her Dark and Light powers significantly unless under great physical or emotional duress. 

"Good morning, Jenna!" sang a very unconcerned and vivacious Vega, bright blue pumps clacking on the lobby's marble floor as she emerged from a back room and strode toward Jenna, smiling brightly. "How are you, my dear?"

"I'm, um, okay," Jenna replied with a nervous grin, hoping her words were neutral enough not to be considered a lie and cause the queen undue physical distress. "J-just nervous to meet the other--well, start this process, I mean. How are you, Vega?"

Vega looked up at the younger Celestern sympathetically and rubbed her upper left arm maternally. "It'll be fine, sweetheart, don't worry--everyone is quite friendly, and at least as apprehensive to meet you!"

"M-me?" Jenna stammered and raised her eyebrows. 

"Oh yes," assured the queen with a meaningful look. "Remember darling, you've become a somewhat popular source of gossip in Heaven and Hell, both of which extend to the Celestern community, since last year! I mean, you _did_ single-handedly apprehend five high-ranking and infamously ruthless angels and demons by utilizing two similar and extremely rare supernatural powers, all before you'd finished Evolving, if I'm not mistaken? " 

Jenna blushed and lowered her gaze. "I assumed you were exaggerating when you said that," she admitted in a low mumble, fidgeting with her purse, "that stuff like that was pretty run-of-the-mill among average supernatural beings, especially Celesterns--"

Vega smirked, shifted her weight to one leg with her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow at Jenna. "Really? You honestly, from the bottom of your heart, thought I was stretching the truth and risking your personal physical comfort, to 'be nice?'" She cringed and shook her head. "You know that's not my style--plus your stomach would've--"

"Fine, I was _hoping_ you were exaggerating, then!" admitted Jenna defensively, crossing her arms and blushing deeper. "That was easier than facing the fact that I'm a topic of discussion in Heaven and Hell! God, I can barely handle it that the friggin' High Priestess of Hell, Satan's second-in-command, knows my name!" 

Vega scoffed and waved her hand nonchalantly. "Oh please, Hecate already knew your name--part of her job is to check every mortal soul by its twentieth birthday to gauge how nearby demonic forces have influenced it, and she's got a damn fine memory--"

"Alright, alright!" Jenna gave in, waving her hands and shutting her eyes. As kind as Hecate was to her, the last thing she wanted to hear about was Heaven and Hell doing _anything_ with her soul, least of all without her knowledge or consent. "That's--okay, I get it. Thank you for trying to make me feel better."

Vega grinned and nodded. "You're welcome." She paused. "Did it work at all?"

Jenna grinned apologetically and shook her head. "No, but it was a valiant try--"

Vega rolled her eyes and scoffed, her smile now playful. "You do know that most beings would do a lot more than kill for this kind of attention? Be so overcome with Pride upon discovering that others of their species revere them as a sort of celebrity that their heads would swell to disgusting proportions?"

Jenna thought about this, then shrugged. "I guess I'm not 'most beings,'" she replied, grinning back cheekily. "I'm yew-nee-quew."

Vega's smooth brow furrowed. "What's that when it's at home?"

Jenna chuckled. "Sorry, it's how my friends and I say 'unique' back home," she explained. 

Vega mouthed 'yew-nee-quew' a few times, then her face lit up. "Oh, right, I see! How it looks rather than how it's--that's not bad, actually," she admitted, nodding and smirking. "I might just use that to confuse some of the thicker angels--half of them wouldn't know a joke or pun if the Almighty introduced it as such--"

Jenna laughed. "Honestly, it's more of a childhood-mispronunciation- _turned_ -joke than something intentional--" Vega chuckled "--but, feel free! Who am I to stand in the way of screwing with Heaven and Hell?"

"And on that note," replied Vega, leading her into the long, dark hallway culminating in conference rooms, training halls and Someone-knows what else, "let's meet your Celesternal comrades!"

~

As soon as Vega opened the beautiful white door bordered with intricate purple swirls, Jenna's human and supernatural senses were overwhelmed by an intense, warm, golden energy that filled her cold, anxious body like sunlight. 

She blinked in astonishment at the young, beautiful and diverse faces turning toward her and Vega. As Jenna expected and in accordance with Celesternal biology, all appeared to be in their mid-twenties, and most were smiling, but their similarities ended there. Beings of all races, ethnicities, shapes, sizes, genders, even some like Vega with gorgeously unique skin colors or patterns, sat around a long oval table in the intimate conference room and gazed at Jenna curiously. She gulped.

"Well, go in, my dear! They won't bite," Vega assured her, pushing her gently over the threshold. "Not you, anyway--" the queen added under her breath, sidling in and shutting the door quietly. 

Jenna frowned at and turned sharply toward Vega. "What did you--"

"Is this her, Queen Vega?" lilted a soft-voiced being with curly red hair and inquisitive yellow eyes. 

"It most certainly is," replied Vega cheerfully, wrapping a friendly arm around Jenna's shoulder and beaming up at her confused face. "Everyone, this is Miss Jenna Kingsley of San Diego, California: daughter of Archangel Azaziel and Lord Cadmus, duke of Hell, and the newest member of the CRS!" The fifteen Celesterns sitting primly at the long table cheered and clapped enthusiastically. 

Jenna grinned, waved awkwardly and blushed like a Maui sunset as Vega led her to her seat. She was relieved to find herself next to Vega near the head of the table, surrounded by several bright, friendly faces grinning broadly.

"Hi, I'm Kara!" chirped the female next to her immediatly in a soft British accent, shaking her hand eagerly. "It's soooo nice to meet you finally, we've heard so much about you!"

"O-oh, thanks!" replied Jenna nervously, sitting down and removing her jacket. "It's nice to meet you too, Kara." She paused and frowned. "Hang on, _Kara_?" she repeated, raising her eyebrows at the pale brunette with dark cobalt eyes. "Kara _Veneer_?"

"The one and only!" confirmed Vega, smiling at the two Nephilims. "I assume Crowley told you about Hell's only competent employee--"

"Queen Vega!" hissed Kara, not blushing but widening her gorgeous eyes in horror. "That's not true, you can't say things like that--"

"Oh I can do whatever I like, darling," Vega assured her, smiling indulgently and waving a nonchalant hand. "Everyone knows it, anyway--Crowley most of all, how many times did you save his ass during a presentation or cover for him again?" 

Kara bit her lip, glanced nervously at Jenna and laughed uneasily. "The queen is joking, what she means is--"

"Jenna's got Truth, plus she's well aware her boyfriend's a numbskull," interrupted Vega bluntly, focused on her paperwork. "We often discuss his past misadventures, about which she then grills him later, much to Crowley's chagrin and our enjoyment." She looked up and winked at Jenna, who laughed and relaxed a bit at the memories her mentor's comment elicited.

"Oh," said Kara, miffed. She smiled apologetically at Jenna. "Sorry about that, forgot you had Truth as well---last thing I wanted to do was cause you pain right after introducing myself--"

"No, you're fine!" cried Jenna, shaking her head. "You didn't, I'm sorry for--"

"Oh Gaia I shoulda seen this comin'," sighed Vega, shaking her head wearily. "Jenna, Kara's got Truth too, so there's no use pretending what she started to say two minutes ago didn't cause your stomach to clench ever so slightly. It certainly twinged my temple a bit--"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty," implored Kara earnestly. "I wasn't think--"

"You two also exhibit the same tendency to unneccessarily and inordinantly apologize," continued Vega, smiling playfully up at them, "as well as a kind, compassionate, clever and perfectionistic nature thoroughly out of place wherever you go."

Jenna's cheeks burned magenta again, and Kara looked down and fidgeted with her shirt sleeves. 

Vega laughed. "Kara dear, if your corporation blushed when embarrassed like Jenna's, you'd be twins!" 

The females glanced at each other and smiled. 

"As it is, you simply grow even paler when confronted with compliments--quite a feat in and of itself! What does Dagon call you again?"

"Specter," replied Kara promptly, turning to Vega. "Still don't know why, 's not like her complexion's any darker--or like any Caucasian corporations in Hell are particularly big on spray tans--Crowley notwithstanding, of course," she added with a very serious expression to Jenna, who laughed loudly. 

"Oh you're even funnier than Crowley said," Jenna chuckled, gazing fondly at Kara. "I was hoping we'd meet today--I think it's awesome that you have your own department in Hell!"

Kara grinned sheepishly, looked down and shrugged modestly. "Not much of a department when you're the only one in it," she scoffed, "but thanks, that's really nice of you to say--"

"Does it really contain every lost thing in our universe?" 

"Everything belonging to or purchased by humans, and then subsequently lost, yes," clarified Kara. "I started wording it like that in the 90s, when I found a huge collection of pet toys--squeaky dominuitive woodland creatures, those lazer things cats love, catnip-filled mice, millions of half-chewed Rawhide bones--but, as you can imagine, it's mostly just socks, hair bands, pens, retainers, cell phone chargers and car keys. Oh, and money. Primarily American nickels." 

Jenna shook her head, fascinated. "That's so cool," she gushed. "I had no idea there was a Lost department in Hell--well, I mean, I had no idea any of this existed until about a year ago, " she admitted fairly, "but still--"

"Oh, I totally relate to that!" said Kara emphatically. "Not knowing anything about--well, _this_ , as you said--" she gestured vaguely around the room "for your first 25 years, I mean. Dunno if Crowley's told you, likely not, but I thought I was a bloody _witch_ till Dagon and the others set me straight--"

"Um, he, ah, he's actually told me a lot," confessed Jenna tentatively. "It's my fault, once he mentioned you were a Celestern raised by humans like me I wouldn't stop pestering him with questions about you--"

"Oh I don't mind!" laughed Kara, cobalt eyes sparkling warmly. "Everyone knows my origin story by now--I am a bit of a circus freak--oh, sorry, not because I was raised by humans!" she added hastily, her face very apologetic and nervous. "Because I'm such a weirdo in every other way! Music junkie, video game nerd, former demonic babysitter, set a pillar on fire in Heaven--that sort of thing."

"Well, from what Aziraphale said," grinned Jenna, leaning forward conspiratorially, "Heaven quite deserved a bit of Hellfire--I would have directed it toward those awful archangels personally, after what they said about you, but--"

"I would say the same to you, but your Shadows seemed to do in a pinch!" Kara chirped. Jenna blushed again. "You're so lucky, I wished I had Light and Dark--more useful than Charm, certainly--" she muttered with irritation. 

Jenna chuckled. "I feel the same about Seduction!" she confessed. "And for the record, I'd trade all my powers for your vocal, music and mysticism talents! I love music, it would be amazing to create music and sound the way you do--from what Crowley's told me, you're better than any band, performer or composer in our realm--"

"Technically the Greek one, too," added a raven-haired Celestern sitting across from them just as Kara opened her mouth to protest. "She beat Apollo in a--"

"Bah-bu-bu-bu-buh!" interrupted Kara, closing her fingers near the Celestern's lips and glaring at his cheeky grin. "She doesn't need to hear any of your nonsense, _Weasel._ " The third being just shrugged nonchalantly, his Asian features faintly amused, then smiled at Jenna politely and extended a hand. "Percival Caydens, at your service, miss."

"Yes, yes, introductions," said Kara impatiently, rolling her eyes as they shook hands. "Jenna, Percy. Percy, Jenna. Don't let him try to sell you anything," she added darkly to Jenna, shaking a stern finger and narrowing her cobalt eyes slightly. "We both work in Hell, but he sells useless junk for outrageous prices--"

"Whereas YOU," he teased with an amused, relaxed grin, pointing with a flourish at Kara, " _guard_ useless junk for _pennies_! At least I make a profit--"

"And a helluva racket when dissatisfied customers pummel you," muttered Kara. 

Percy shot her a withering grimace, then grinned amiably at Jenna. "Kara's such a joker--I have a knack for getting out of trouble before it sours into physical violence against my person--"

"Hence the moniker, 'Weasel," added Kara in the same scathing undertone. Jenna stifled a giggle as Percy rolled his eyes and Kara grinned demonically, her pale heart-shaped face lit up by with triumph and mischief. 

"Alright you lot, let's get down to business!" called Vega over the barrage of voices. Instantly the room fell silent, and sixteen fresh faces stared at the smiling queen intently. "Thank you. Now that we've all gotten to visit for a bit--" she winked at Jenna and Kara, who glanced at each other and smiled shyly "--let's talk about how exactly to save the universe. Basically, I want us to practice and hopefully master creating the Tutela Aura within the next six months, then--with the assistance of various angels and celestial deities, of course--manifest it around God's realm--or rather, as much of it as we can in three months--and hopefully prevent TEO from entering our dimension at all."

Jenna felt her heart beat faster and more insistently, as though it were trying to escape her chest; her icy fingers twitched as blood slowly flowed inward to her core, leaving her long limbs shivering and pale. She took a few deep breaths, and then when this did nothing to deactivate her sympathetic nervous system glanced at the attractive faces around her. Most, if not all, of her fellow Celesterns looked apprehensive at best and terrified at worst, which brought Jenna a bit of relief and comaraderie. 

"I know it's a lot to ask," continued Vega, kind eyes gazing at the eternally youthful beings squirming uncomfortably in their seats, "even of such talented, intelligent and powerful Celesterns as yourselves--and I mean that from the bottom of my heart." She placed her right hand over her chest as she said this, luscious green skin contrasting beautifully with her azure blouse. "It's a lot to ask of anyone, learning and working with such an advanced, draining spell--but it is, as of right now, our only hope of keeping TEO out of our realm. 

Should it enter, the challenges of fighting and defeating it will exponentially increase. While of course our occult, ethereal and otherwise supernatural allies will prepare for this eventuality, it would be best if the entity is addressed prior to crossing our metaphysical boundaries."

A Celestern with long black dredlocks and smooth brown skin raised her hand. "How will we do that? Address it outside our dimension, I mean."

"Heaven's working on that, Trinity, they'll probably get some deities to guard the boundary and attempt to lure it into a nearby void once it approaches," Vega explained. "Don't worry, you--the Celesternal Rights Society, that is--won't be involved in that. After setting up the Aura as best we can, the deities will nourish and strengthen it with their mana until TEO shows up."

Trinity nodded solemnly, their dark brown eyes staring blankly at a tiny groove in the table's center. 

Vega grinned sympathetically at them, then surveyed the room expectantly. "Any other questions?"

"Uh, yes," began someone with spiky pink hair and buttercup yellow skin covered in continuously blossoming tulips, like animated tattoos. "How--erm, well, sorry to put it so bluntly, but--well, w-what are the chances, roughly, of our being able to not just perform the spell well enough to engulf God's realm in it, but also actually--engulfing it around God's realm, as it were?"

Vega nodded grimly. "I understand, Pence--to be brutally honest, the chances of this succeeding in every regard are---well, extremely slim," she confessed sadly. "I'd say we've got about a 30% chance of mastering the spell within half a year, and a ten-to-fifteen percent lower chance of activating it across an entire bloody dimension."

Everyone expressed their feelings regarding these statistics noticeably but within the bounds of polite society. Most gasped, glanced in horror at each other or hissed "Bloody 'ell!" to no one in particular. Kara let out a shrill whimper and slapped her hand over her mouth, while Jenna blinked rapidly and jiggled her left leg in a way that would have fervently annoyed all present had the table been two inches lower. 

The queen sighed and sat back down. "I know it's bad," she said softly, "but we've got to try. Without this shield, our chances of survival plummet to nearly impossible, 5% at best. I am so sorry to ask so much of you, especially those new to our society, Celesternasis or both--" Vega's large brown eyes glanced painfully at Jenna, who wanted to smile back reassuringly but instead just looked down hastily at her fingers twisting her sweater in her lap, "--and I know all of you regardless of age or membership have led unbelievably stressful, trauma-filled lives. You certainly don't need me adding this responsibility onto your already overburdened shoulders." Again, Vega gave Jenna an apologetic grimace, which the younger Celestern bashfully avoided. 

"For that and more, I am so sorry. Only large groups (at least 13) of Celesterns or other equally powerful hybrid beings can produce this enchantment, otherwise I, Hecate or someone better qualified would complete this arduous task." 

Jenna and the other Nephilims nodded without looking at the queen, who sighed and joined them in staring silently at stacks of papers. After a few mournful, anxious minutes, Kara tentatively raised her hand. Vega, Jenna and several others looked up at her questioningly.

"Vega, I--well, I know things are bad," she began in a nervous yet warm voice, like drizzling honey, "and this probably won't make any difference, but--what if we factored in Collective Manifestation?"

The queen nodded and rubbed her chin with her left hand thoughtfully. "Hmm, I see what you're asking--I'm not quite sure, to be honest. While I ponder your inquiry, perhaps you could define Collective Manifestation for our newcomers?" She glanced meaningfully at Jenna, who blushed.

"Oh, of course!" Kara beamed at her mortified neighbor. "Sorry, should have explained before--well, anyway, it's--I mean--hmm." Kara stopped, narrowed her eyes at the ceiling and bit her lower lip, then explained to Jenna, "You know how we--Celesterns, angels, demons, etc?--can create things unintentionally by just sort of, like, _expecting_ them to be a certain way?"

Jenna nodded uncertainly, vaguely remembering Crowley explaining the principles to her last year. "Sort of."

"Kind of like--like me with Pandora, for example. Without me needing to look up any songs, albums or performers, it just plays whatever I want or assume it will play next. Haven't "liked" a song in four bloody years!"

"Wow," said Jenna quietly, staring at the excited Celestern in awe. "Lucky." 

Everyone else seemed to have gotten lost around 'Pandora,' but Kara grinned toothily at Jenna, gestured to her with open hands and cried, " _Thank_ you! Finally, someone who gets it! Anyway, my point being," she continued more solemnly to Vega, who had cocked her head thoughtfully at the brunette female, "that, perhaps it might possibly make a difference if we mentally focused on the Tutela Aura--or even this situation as a whole--in a similar manner?"

"Oh don't start with your 'thoughts matter' human bullshit, Veneer!" sneered a tall Celestern at the opposite end of the table with sharp features and long white hair undulating gracefully like tentacles in water. 

"Watch yourself, Alger," said Vega sternly, narrowing her mahogany eyes at the pale being.

"But Vega it's ridiculous!" they continued, gesturing at Kara like she was a lost cause. "Even the poor mortal bastards have started giving up on it--I mean, Kara, c'mon--you really think us all thinking, "Oh, we'll definitely be able to destroy TEO--'" they mocked in a scratchy, high-pitched voice. 

Alger, I'm warning you--" began Vega, standing up and pointing at them threateningly.

"'Or, "TEO? What's that, never heard of it!'" Alger continued as though Vega hadn't spoken, not bothering to modify their voice as they angrily addressed the crowd. "It's bullshit! I'm telling you, you can't fix problems by burying your head in the s--"

"ALGER!" yelled Vega sharply, her eyes glowing red. They immediately stopped speaking, gulped audibly and slowly sat back down, avoiding everyone's gaze. Vega exhaled heavily, eyes still a bit russet but less vibrant. "I know this is stressful for everyone, but if you or anyone else behaves in such a disgustingly disrespectful manner again, you will be asked to leave and not return. Do I make myself clear, Alger?"

Alger nodded. "Yes, ma'am," they said quietly and not without shame. 

"Good," replied Vega curtly. She turned to Kara and smiled warmly. "In regards to your inquiry, my dear--"

"I know it sounds stupid," interrupted Kara anxiously, blue eyes wide and imploring. "And Alger's right--thinking that way isn't going to fix anything. We shouldn't do it if we can't honestly believe, at least in the faintest possibility, of the spell working out. I'm just saying that Collective Manifestation, or the entire CRS expecting or assuming as much as possible that the spell will work, that we can stop TEO, that we will survive this stronger than before--or at least survive it--certainly couldn't hurt."

"I absolutely agree," chirped Vega. "Couldn't have put it better myself. I just needed a moment to consider its effectiveness against that of the scenario most prevalent in minds burdened with the knowledge of TEO's visit--that of it being our last chance to entertain, at least in this dimension--but, if my Probability is correct, it's definitely worth a try. In other words," she added to the room at large, "the expectation--belief in its most innocent form--that we can and will stop TEO from entering God's dimension will flourish if we allow it to. Not just by believing it possible, but by arrogantly assuming it will occur," she added, grinning mischeviously with a demonic glint in her eye. "Angels and demons are nothing if not arrogant, and it's time you all stopped being the exception."

Jenna, Kara and some of the others smiled. Vega stood up and raised a short arm. "All in favor of blatant, brazen disregard for widely-accepted fears, and instead accepting the reckless, vainglorious truth of our assured victory, happiness and immortality, raise your hands!" 

Everyone (even Alger) laughed and raised a hand, then clapped for each other. Vega let them have their fun, then spent the rest of the day-long meeting teaching/reviewing the Tulela Aura with them. Jenna left that evening exhausted but grateful that she was not the worst enchanter, had met and exchanged numbers with Kara and didn't have to do anything but sleep for the next two days. 

"Hey, I told you not to pick me up!" Jenna chastised Crowley when she saw him lounging in the lobby. He smirked, got up and replied, "You're not the boss of me," before hugging her tightly and taking the books and folders Vega had given her out of her tired arms. "I'm a demon, I can do whatever I want."

"Yeah, and aren't demons supposed to be not nice?" quipped Jenna, rummaging in her purse. "Meaning they don't go around carrying people's stuff-- _come on where are you?_ \--or Transporting them back home-- _show yourself you little--!_ Ok, here we go." Jenna pulled out her phone and turned it back on. 

Crowley laughed. "How can you loose your phone in that bag? It's so tiny!" he teased as Jenna checked her messages. 

"Don't insult Henry, he's a treasure," she replied absent-mindedly. "What area code is 205? Someone called me four times today from a number beginning with 205."

Crowley frowned. "Four times? That's weird, let me see." Jenna showed him the screen. 

"See? Four times today, 205-555-8890."

"And no voicemails? Or texts?" Crowley asked suspiciously. Jenna shook her head just as her phone buzzed. "Oh, well, speak of the devil..."

"Very clever," said Jenny wryly, retracting the device and staring at the screen. "Let's see what 205 has to say..." 

She opened the message; after the first sentence, her grin became a complex expression that Crowley hadn't seen on her face in at least five years. It darkened and grew more troubled as her eyes traveled down the lines. 

"I-is everything okay, love?" Crowley asked tentatively. Jenna blinked, looked at him blankly, and showed him the text. Crowley read the first line, then handed it back angrily to her. He could guess what the rest said. If she wanted he'd read it later, but not now--not while he was on the precipice of killing the bastard--

"Can we just go?" murmured Jenna emotionlessly, hugging herself protectively and looking down. Crowley nodded, gritting his jaw with enough force to break human teeth, and hugged her protectively. The next second, the grand Purgatorial lobby was empty save for a blank-faced wall of muscle passing as a guard and a thick silence. 


	8. Family Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna and Aziraphale discuss an important text message, then Pepper arrives for another day of work at A. Z. Fell & Co Bookshop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: emotional discussion of estranged/absent/abusive parent trying to reconnect with adult child; mild OCD attack of guilt/shame over feeling hatred

Aziraphale stared blankly at Jenna, his delicate china tea cup with painted blue chrysanthemums frozen halfway to his lips. "No," he said in a hushed, almost horrified tone. 

Jenna nodded sadly and reached into her pocket. "Unfortunately, yes," she sighed, pulling out her phone and scrolling through messages. "Hold on--ok, here's the text." She offered the device to the angel, who blinked twice, set down his tea cup and accepted it gingerly, as though it were incendiary. "I know it sounds nice and everything, and I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but--"

"But it's _incredibly_ selfish and inconsiderate!" cried Aziraphale loudly, bright blue eyes narrowing as he read. "Not to mention _terrible_ timing on his part! I _can_ not be _lieve_ ," he continued indignantly, "that after, what, five years of no contact? This--this _person--_ " he spat venemously, gesturing at the screen and glaring at it as if 'person' wasn't exactly the word he had in mind "--thinks it's a jolly good time to reach out to, let alone _visit_ , his estranged adult daughter!"

Jenna shrugged, blushed and hung her head in shame. "Yeah, well," she mumbled, staring at a pattern on the gold and crimson Persian rug that vaguely resembled a lion. "Timing's never really been Dad's strong suit." 

Aziraphale snorted mirthlessly. "Yes, that's rather the impression I aquired upon learning of his impromptu engagement and marriage to--" He stopped abruptly when Jenna cringed. "Oh my dear, I am so sorry, how insensitive of me--"

"It's alright, don't worry bout it," replied the young Celestern quickly, shaking her head with a small smile that did not extend to her mournful blue-green eyes. 

Aziraphale bit his lip and continued frowning with great concern at his friend. "H-how do you feel about--about all this, Jenna?" he asked gently, handing the phone back to her. 

She took it and set it down on the end table, then continued to stare at the lion pattern as she pondered his query. "I guess, conflicted and distressed are the best words to use overall," she replied carefully after a minute. "When I first saw the message two days ago, I was just numb, then that gave way to pretty intense anger--Crowley helped me through that, I think he's pretty mad too--but then my anxiety and guilt caught up with everything and I just feel--well, super unsure how to respond now," she confessed, looking up into her angelic best friend's sympathetic azure eyes. "I feel bad for not making more of an effort to connect the last five years--I was angry that he--" she gulped "-- _married_ Marjorie, and didn't want anything to do with him at all. But I shouldn't have let that--I should have called, or at least done more than sent him birthday and holiday cards--"

"But Jenna," said Aziraphale tentatively but with imploring eyes, unable to restrain his opinion any longer, "isn't it true that he put even less effort into your relationship?"

"Well--" Jenna began as the urge to defend her father arose. 

"He didn't even call to tell you he was getting--well, your aunt did! And did you _once_ receive any cards or letters from him," he continued vehemently, righteous anger returning, "even just to say he received yours?"

Jenna frantically searched her memories for any that contained a shred of evidence in the man's defense, but her heart already knew there was none. Heart pounding, she shook her head, closed her eyes and let the tears trail down her flushed face. 

Aziraphale tsked, inwardly chided himself and moved to her settee. "I'm sorry to put it so harshly, dear," he said softly, offering a gladly-accepted embrace and rubbing her upper back comfortingly. "I shouldn't have--God knows I get monstrously self-centered when angry--"

Jenna laughed thickly through her tears. "That's exactly what Crowley said, 'cept it was more like, 'Oh G--Someone I'm a selfish bastard when I get mad.'"

Aziraphale chuckled. "Yes, I suppose we have that in common," he admitted thoughtfully. "When someone we care about, even each other, is hurt, our first response is often anger directed unhelpfully at the thing causing the harm, rather than attention and comfort toward the one hurting. I take it you've had a devil of a time keeping Crowley from confronting Mr. Kingsley in--" he paused and frowned. "Where did he say he lived now? New Georgia?"

"Alabama," Jenna corrected him, sniffling and pulling away from Aziraphale so they could talk properly again. "Decatur, specifically. And no, I haven't, but I think he is. He's been so supportive and attentive these last few days, but I can tell he's just itching to do something demonic to him--not that I think he will," she added hastily. "He promised he wouldn't, and he wasn't lying as far as I know--n-not that I don't trust him completely!" she cried almost hysterically, eyes wide and breath erratic. "I do, he's never given me a reason not to! I'd have to be crazy--" 

Aziraphale laid a soothing hand on her left shoulder and gazed steadily into her frantic eyes. "It's alright my dear, I completely understand," he assured her firmly. Jenna closed her eyes and half sighed, half laughed with relief and embarrassment. "Believe me, I've known Crowley much longer than you and it took me a good four millennia before I really trusted him--would have been much shorter had I had Truth, to be sure--"

Jenna smiled gratefully and hugged her angelic friend warmly. "Thanks, Zira. Well, anyway," she continued as he returned to his seat, "Crowley's been amazing, even with how upset I can tell he is--you have that in common as well," she added with a knowing grin. The angel blushed into his cup of tepid tea. "Once we'd both calmed down, he even suggested I respond, just so Dad would know I'm okay and everything--which of course is the best thing, I'm--I'm just not sure what to say--"

"Do-do you want him to visit?" asked the angel cautiously. "You don't have to answer, of course--"

Jenna shook her head nonchalantly. "No, it's fine. Um, well, I'm not sure," she confessed, fiddling with her T-shirt hem nervously. "On the one hand it would be super weird, what with--well, literally EVERYTHING--but on the other hand--I don't know. I do miss him, I suppose. In a way. And he won't be around forever," she added emphatically. "Or, well, I guess _part_ of him will, but I won't be able to communicate with it after--well, you know."

"Hmm," nodded Aziraphale, brow furrowed as he considered her dilemna. "Yes, I can't imagine the inner turmoil you must--well, what did Crowley say?"

Jenna shrugged. "Just to do whatever makes me happy, that he fully supports my decision to reconnect or not with Dad," she replied casually, grinning warmly at the memory, then chuckled, "which isn't nearly as helpful as you'd think, since it still leaves me to make the right choice."

Aziraphale smiled sympathetically over at Jenna, who leaned back on the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest. "There is no right or wrong choice, my darling child--only that with which you are comfortable."

Jenna rolled her eyes and smiled playfully. "Yeah, you try telling that to the OCD, see how long you last," she teased, then blinked despondently at the lion pattern in the carpet again. It looked a bit more like a bear now. "I'm sorry, I know you're right--I'm just--well, I don't feel fully comfortable with either decision, really," she confessed, hugging the pillow tighter. "I know I'll feel calmer not seeing him again and trying to recreate some sort of relationship, but--"

"The guilt," Aziraphale finished for her softly, cerulean eyes full of sadness for the Celestern. 

Jenna nodded. "Which is why I normally just visit and get it over with--no shame with that, or less anyway--but now that he's--well, married to someone half his age whom I've never met," she continued, disapprobation creeping into her melodious voice, "and spent the last five years basically ignoring my existence, I don't know that the shame would feel so much worse than the fury and disgust at pretending everything's fine and--and--well, to be honest, that I don't hate him for what he did!" she admitted furiously, glaring at the crimson bear pattern as hot tears spilled from red eyes. 

Jenna sobbed and covered her face with her hands. "Oh, Zira--I feel so much hate for him and I hate it! I HATE it!! It feels awful, like poison in my veins--"

"Shhshhhshhhhhshhh," soothed Aziraphale, joining and embracing her on the couch again. "Shhhhh, it's alright Jenna, everything is alright--"

"How do you stop the hate, Zira?" she cried desperately, staring at the angel with bloodshot, tortured eyes. "I don't want to hate him, but I can't seem--every time I think I've finally forgiven Dad, it all just--"

The tinkling bell annoucing a book patron's arrival interrupted her question. Jenna felt a wave of sudden angelic wrath as Aziraphale sighed sharply, glared in the blocked direction of the bookshop entrance and called out coldly and firmly, "As the sign clearly reads, we are closed!" 

"It's me, Mr. Fell," replied a young girl's voice matter-of-factly. "It's Tuesday, 1pm, remember? You said I could just come in--"

Aziraphale's celestial aura relaxed. "Oh, it's you, Miss Moonchild--sorry dear, please do come in--er, I'll meet you at the front!" he cried, glancing apprehensively at Jenna, who was fervently wiping her face dry. "Oh I am so sorry, Jenna--I forgot all about her working today--" he added in a sincere undertone to the Celestern. 

"Nope, no, totally fine," Jenna said quickly and as nonchalantly as she could, sniffling and smiling up at his anxious face. "I need to leave anyway--"

"Well, perhaps you can just--"

"Who're you whispering to?" asked Pepper, ignoring Aziraphale's implied instructions and wandering to the back of his shop. "You _never_ have--oh, hi Jenna!" Her sullen face brightened at the sight of the tall American, then frowned in concern when the teenager noticed Jenna's puffy face and red-rimmed eyes. "A-are you okay? Were you just crying?"

Jenna smiled and waved off her remark. "I'm fine, sweetheart," she assured her. "We were just discussing some--some stuff....Sorry I made you lose track of time," she added quickly to Aziraphale. 

Aziraphale blinked. "N-not at all! Not your fault, would have likely forgotten anyway--"

"Gee, thanks," drawled Pepper sarcastically, her face impassive. "Nice to know I'm such a memorable employee--"

"Oh but of _course_ you are, Miss Moonchild!" cried Azirphale frantically, wide eyes and clasped hands beseeching her pardon. "I didn't mean it that way at all--simply that I'd forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on properly--"

"Mm-hmm," replied Pepper monotonously, still staring at the angel stonily. 

Jenna sighed and said with kind sternness, "Now Pepper, you know he thinks you're a fantastic worker. Zira--I mean, _Mr. Fell_ \--just has a lot on his mind at the moment, and we must not punish him with our death glares for that," she added emphatically, raising her eyebrows and placing her hands on her hips as she stared down knowingly at the thirteen-year-old. "He is your supervisor, after all, as well as your friend--"

"Oh alright!" groaned Pepper melodramatically, rolling her eyes before rounding on the fidgeting angel. "I'm sorry, Mr. Fell--you're really weird but a good boss, and I didn't mean to be rude--"

"Pepper!" scolded Jenna, a huge smile tugging at the corners of her lips and about to win the fight. 

Aziraphale blinked uncertainly at the young girl, bent down and asked tentatively, "Y-you think I'm a good boss?"

Pepper shrugged. "Better than Brian's. You don't smell like burnt rubber, wear stained clothes or punish me when I make mistakes."

"Hmm," the angel nodded thoughtfully, then frowned. "Where does Brian work?"

"Ice cream shop in Tadfield," replied Pepper. "Brian thought he'd get to eat his mistakes, so at first he made a lot, but his _stupid_ boss--who's like this pimply forty-year-old--screamed at him in front of customers and made him throw it out, so he stopped. Waste of perfectly good ice cream and toppings, if you ask me!" she added huffily. 

Aziraphale stared blankly at Pepper while Jenna stifled fierce giggles behind her hand. "Ah, yes," he agreed awkwardly. "Right." 

"Anyway, you're not like that," continued the adolescent girl nonchalantly, slipping her backpack off her shoulders and plopping herself down in a comfy armchair. "You're nice even when I put things on the wrong shelves, and smell like cinnamon chocolate, and dress like 'a Victorian gentleman,' whatever that means. It's how my mum describes you when people ask her what I'm doing--'oh, she's working at that old bookshop in Soho. You know, the one owned by that fussy Victorian gentleman--' then everyone laughs, but I don't know why." Pepper shrugged again.

Jenna couldn't help herself and doubled over with muted snickers; even Aziraphale smiled brightly at the comment. "Well, that's very kind of her. I do try you know--" he admitted with a trace of smugness in his warm tenor.

 _"Plus!"_ Pepper added enthusiastically with a mischevious grin, "you let me scare away customers by pretending to be violently ill, or trying to sell them black market goods, or with my petrified insect collection!" 

Aziraphale smiled fondly. "Yes, that last one does work wonders," he mused dreamily. 

Before another wave of laughter could engulf her, Jenna surreptitiously snapped her fingers to sober herself. The Celestern straightened up, cleared her throat and smiled at Aziraphale and Pepper. "I'm glad you two are getting along so well--and it sounds like you enjoy working here, Pepper?" she added hopefully. 

"Oh yeah," Pepper nodded earnestly. "It's fun, scaring people away--might do it professionally when I get older--"

Aziraphale chuckled. "Well, you certainly have a knack for it, my dear," he replied, grinning indulgently at his young protege. "Rare bookshop owners everywhere would pay you millions to frighten away potential customers--"

Jenna laughed. "And on that note, I'd better go," she said, slipping her purse over her shoulder. "Thanks for talking with me, Zira--it was really helpful," she added with a sad smile. 

Aziraphale's face paled a bit as he remembered how their conversation had ended. "Oh, must you go?" he asked kindly, frowning with paternal concern. "I just need to show Miss Moonchild what we're inventorying today, shouldn't take too long and then you and I can continue our--"

"That's very kind of you, but I-I should go," interrupted Jenna, wincing apologetically at her best friend. When he frowned at her questioningly, Jenna pulled him aside and whispered, "Seeing Pepper kind of shocked me out of my tantrum, so now I feel pretty mortified and just want to go back home." She cringed again. "Sorry for dumping all that on you--that wasn't fair--"

"Oh hush," chastised Aziraphale, waving aside her remarks and frowning. "You have nothing to be sorry for, and that most definitely was NOT a tantrum--perhaps we can talk later?" he added hopefully. 

Jenna nodded and relaxed a bit. "I'd like that, thanks. Sorry Pepper, he's all yours," she continued louder, turning around and smiling at the girl, who was watching them closely with narrowed eyes. "Have a good afternoon, alright?"

"Okay," said Pepper suspiciously. "Are you sure you're okay, Jenna?" 

Jenna sighed. "I'm--I'm okay enough," she admitted, smile and gaze falling. "Nothing you need to worry about though, alright? Just some--' the Celestern took a deep breath "-- _family_ stuff to sort out."

Pepper's face instantly relaxed and lightened. "Ohhhh," she said knowingly. "Okay. Yeah, I get it. Family stuff's tough." She cringed sympathetically up at Jenna, whose heart overflowed with love for the teenage girl. "That's why my mum doesn't talk to--well, I'm not supposed to talk about that, actually--" she added quietly to herself. 

Jenna chuckled. "Thanks, Pepper. You're awesome. Thank you too, Zira--call you later?"

"Yes, do," replied the angel earnestly. "Even just to check in--"

"Don't worry, I will. Bye, y'all!" They waved at each other as Jenna exited the bookshop. Closing the door carefully behind her, the young Celestern sighed, pulled out her phone and read for the billionth time what was still on the screen: 

_Hey there kiddo! It's Dad, sorry I haven't called in a while--things have been really busy, between Covid and work and Marj redecorating everything. How are you?? Heard you're in London now. Wow, that's new! Why don't I stop by next month? We can get some fish n chips, try to make the guards break, all that cheesy stuff 😂 anyway, just gimme a call when you can_

The young Celestern sighed again, pocketed the device and walked quickly back to the apartment to make several pro-con lists.


End file.
